The Superficial | Ricky Martin is so straight you'll turn gay

Everbabe - you know this one is for you...

Frappr! - Too Cute

...Warning Warning Warning...

These are some of the cutest baby animal pictures I think that I have seen - click at your own risk.

Now *this* is a good commerical...

The question is - why not show it?

My friend at Slate had the same question. If you find out - let them know.

SCARED OF SANTA GALLERY: Tis the season to be scared witless

If you like pictures of screaming babies on Santa's lap - (and really, who doesn't?) click here.

(In other news - i have a second date lined up. Yay! Chance to make all 8new* mistakes)

So: all in all, it's been an interesting week.

For today's blog, we'll talk about just a few of the lay-dee related incidents in my life, and then wrap up with the not one, not two, but three blunders from my first blind date. Skip ahead if you would like - I understand not everyone is interested in minutia from Sean's strange life. (Check that - If I really understood that, I probably wouldn't have a blog)

But moving on - It's been an interesting week, all things considered. Mom was in town, so she came over last weekend. It was great to have her there, and I even gave her a chore or two, which felt nice from a karmic standpoint. As we were flipping through my collection of DVD's, deciding what to watch, I discovered that she had never seen Say Anything. As that movie is sort of a seminal 80's movie, with some of the best scenes of teenage angst ever filmed, we decided to watch it. At about 15 minutes in, my cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID. Wha whaaaaa? TwoPairs was on the other line?!?

I don't think that I've related this story before. And I won't now. (thank blogger for eating my post!!!) Short form - One of (if not THE) first dates that I went on in high school was with a friend. For whatever reason, my family calls her TwoPairs now. Be that as it may, we hadn't spoken in 6 months to a year. (no bad blood - just missed connections.) A. also called, but Mom and I were watching a movie, dammit! Still - calls from first date, and ex-fiance - strange timing.

Then on Wednesday, I had my first blind date. I may have mentioned this whole thing about holidays being interesting to me for relationship based things. (I know I did - look it up, using Google's built in blog- searching capabilites.) {grin} But what I realized the day AFTER this date was that if I was willing to REALLY stretch on the definition of a holiday, it's still there. Because Wednesday was Pearl Harbor Day. Seriously. However, after my Veteran's Day of last year, I am seeing a disturbing militaristic trend; I'll aim for something less martial next time.

Back to the Three. Fatal. Errors. (TM)

1) Didn't pay for her meal.
Positive Spin: Um. Not really one.
Negative Spin: Cheap.
Reason I Didn't: Cafeteria type place. She jumped ahead of me. I'm new at this, and didn't want to appear paternalistic.
Remedy: Next time, let the goodies flow.

2) At end of date, didn't walk her to her car.
Positive Spin: Hey, we met online; he's not a stalker!
Negative Spin: Cheap *Jerk*, who doesn't care if I get mugged in the parking lot of Ikea.
Reason I didn't: Worried more about looking like a stalker.
Remedy: Next time, ask her if she minds if I walk her to her car, as my grandmother raised me that way.

3) At *end* of date - Sean-initiated handshake. Wha Whaa??
Positive Spin: Umm.. she saw my unnaturally flat fingernails?
Negative Spin: Oh. My. God. {shakes head}
Reason I didn't: I'm new at this? I am socially stunted? Against all previous evidence, I am shy? . . . I'm doomed.
Remedy: I've been advised of the existence of the 'half-hug-side-kiss,' of which I was previously unaware. That will prove helpful in the future.

No one warned me of these common pitfalls. Positive Spin: But even if I messed up with this date, I'll hopefully get the chance to make all new mistakes next time.

As evidence of synchronicity, however, a monster attacked a villager on the shore of Loch Ness. Er. No - that was Sting. What happened to ME was that I got a call from my high school prom date THE DAY AFTER the Three.Fatal.Errors.(TM) And we reminesced.
But that's another entry.

Warning to All!

(but especially SuperMark)

Sean's Big Date - Take 1

OK - I have 4.5 hours until my date tonight. (yes, with the internet girl from the beginning of November) Any suggestions on what to do, and what *not* to do? (For whatever reason, I choose IKEA as a first date (what...they have swedish meatballs and cinnamon rolls...)

Anybody's advice is appreciated - OnlyAymie already chimed in with some, saying "avoid butt pinching, unless asked. it can be a bit offputting early in a relationship"

And I *appreciated* that advice. I still might not listen to it, but definitely appreciate it.

I'll catch you up on the flip side.

Raquel's Blog -

It is probably just me - but I am pretty sure that the next time that I get middle school pictures of myself, I won't include my doll. Who is dressed the same.

Thanks to sitemeter for the link.

What's with the ladies at the back of the plane?!

Seriously - hire a driver. (well... you have to now, i guess.)

Petition Spot - Save Arrested Development (#3)

*IF* you enjoy watching the best written show on TV -
And *IF* you can't believe that Fox is going to cancel it -

You could try signing the above online petition.Hell - it *might* work.

The "Left Behind" Movies - How to end the world on a budget.

This movie review reminds me of comments made by my old roommate, who was a librarian, before the turn of the Century. (Only a few years ago, mind you, lest you think that I roomed with a nonagenarian. I did, but didn't want you to think that.)

He talked about how patrons would love the "Left Behind" series, which at that time was in it's 5th book. At least one older lady asked him if he thought that the AUTHORS believed in their own writing, which stated that the rapture was to begin around the Millenium.

My roommate paused, before replying "I don't know if they believe it or not; but I *did* just read that they signed a six year, 12 book contract." Heh

Your Health This Month - Death by kissing, dust-mite frustration, and a breast-feeding benefit for mothers. By Sydney?Spiesel

EverBabe - the third story is the one I wanted you to see, although the one about dust mites is pretty cool too.

Wonkette - backwards engineering foreign policy

OK, OK - I *am* more liberal than conservative. But you have to admit, this visual montage is pretty funny, whatever your politics.

I'm stealing from Mickey Kaus at Slate for this link. Hope to return the favor sometime.

Photo of Fitty Cent performing at a Bat Mitzpah

Yes, this urban man clearly in touch with the streets he came from, was not averse to performing a shout out at a 13-year-old's birthday party. Thank you, camera cell phones for this photo of Fitty, performing away.

I can't help but agree with the writers of TheSuperficial, who say

"It doesn't matter how many times you've been shot and how many gangster rap albums you've sold, because the second you perform at a little girl's bat mitzvah you're automatically a lame little sissy girl. 50 Cent could've strangled a bear with his bare hands, but from now on he'll forever be remembered as that pansy who performed at some rich girl's bat mitzvah."

Interestingly, he wasn't alone, though; the crew from Aerosmith and Don Henley were there too. I guess $500K will buy a lot of respect at the old folks home.

Roswell man beaten in home invasion | ajc.com

sooooo....

APPARENTLY one of my neighbors got beat up. Or beat down. Or beat sideways.

How very comforting. Wait - didn't I once write about something like that?

Hey - that's right! I completely forgot about *this* prediction. Wow... I guess my predictive powers are pretty good, but only if the guy who got jacked is really Osama Bin Laden. Or Janet Jackson's breast.

For Nicole (EverBabe's oldest friend)

Nicole - here are the *lyrics* to the song we were talking about. (fun 80's pop piece)

The Other Ones "Holiday"

happy T-day!

The Working Man's Roth

EverBabe-

Check out this article about the Roth 401K (different!!!)

PartiallyClips for Nicole - (cause of what you do for a livin.)

Nicole (if that's your real name:) Don't hesitate to rewrite your SciFi.

In other news...

Just wanted to let you all know, (yes, even *you*, Gisele Bundchen...) that I have offically jumped headfirst back into the dating pool. Or something.

I guess it shouldn't be *too* weird for me, seeing as how it's only been *10 years* since I went on a first date. Ok... a little weird. {grin}

"But Sean," some of the more observant of you say, "what about those *other* dates that you had the past few months? They certainly seem at least a *little* more recent that 10 years ago."

"Ah," I respond to the budding Seanologist. "Those don't count. A) I knew the ladies ahead of time, and B) the subject of the most successful of them moved to another state to live with another man less than two weeks after our second 'date.' That's right - I drove her not only to another man, but indeed another Senate District."

I sent a response to something I read on Craigslist, under the woman-seeking-man portion. I would post which one I responded to, but I am afraid that Leo DiCaprio (a regular lurker on this blog) woud try to steal her from me. I'll let you know how it works out.

Two notes for EverBabe -

1) Looks like we didn't win Mega Millions... so no Hurley problems for us. Phew.

2) This is a Best of Craigslist that made me laugh out loud- possibly because it made me think of you. I don't like taking a dump at someone else's house.

My grandmother's b-day.

A very fine lady, who has just turned 88 today. That's reasonably old. Just wanted to point this out.

My favorite quote from our conversation tonight: (and she was having second thoughts about saying it even as it was coming out of her mouth;)
"Sean, I have always felt that, of all of our many grandchildren, you have clearly most improved from when you were younger."

WooHoo! I'm just sorry that I am not still getting report cards - that would fit in perfectly. (altho it *is* year-end review time here at my company....)

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Finnegan the Squirrel)

Warning - disgustingly cute pictures of puppies and squirrels on the other side of the jump.

Updated photo of Sean - post halloween.

Many people (OK, two) have asked to get a picture of what I look like now sans hair. Well, here you go.

wedding bathroom supplies - Yahoo! Search Results

This is a re-visit episode of my blog, where we talk about the funny websearches that people have performed that led them to my blog. Previous iterations are located here and here.

Yahoo.com Number 2 for married womandate.com

Yahoo.com Number 36 for Pictures of pennys,nickels and dimes

Dogpile: Number 12 for what does g.i.l.f. mean?

And thanks again to KayRay for the original forward:
Yahoo.com: Top of the list for "wedding bathroom supplies

Wanna See My Boobees?

Don't worry - SFW

Two Funny Things (only one hairstyle related)

Alrighty: in checking my email this AM and weeding through the spam, I was intrigued by one of the subject lines: "We can change your relationship. chloroform." I felt like responding, saying "while it is true that my relationship may need some help, I don't feel like I am at the chloroform stage yet. But try me again in a few weeks."

The other thing is about my new low maintenance haircut: Went in to the Turkish mob dry-cleaners downstairs in my building with a load of shirts. He said: "Oh. You work at Porsche?"

Not yet, but it's nice that I could with my new, shiny head.

Lone Star Statements; or Amazon rankings of Time's 100 Best Novels

Thanks to Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics for tonight's link which reminds us that, no matter how good a book is, someone at Amazon will rank it one star.

FOXNews.com - Foxlife - Out There - Stickup Turns Stink-Up

Amusing vignette about a poor schmoe who couldn't even hold up a guy in a parking lot:

"After holding up a man in a parking lot on Sunday, a robber was hit five times by two vehicles, first by what cops think was the stickup man's own getaway driver and four more times by another car apparently driven by a woman who knew the 33-year-old victim, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel."

Sean's 2005 Halloween

OK - Let's play a game; differentiation is *fun!* What's different in the two photos below?

Me at the beginning of KayRay's partay:



Me at the end of KayRay's partay:



There were at least two major differences: did you spot them? Comments welcome.

Harriet Miers's Blog...

I am just sad I didn't find Harriet Meirs' blog *before* she pulled the plug.

As with Vader's blog, you may want to read some of the comments!!!

Some of them are hiLARious

Coverville

Specifically because KayRay asked, but also because I can't believe you all haven't heard of this site.

This is a site providing you with free, legal MP3s of a podcast (internet broadcast) show 'covering' all musical things "cover."

For instance, Episode 137 that I am listening to right now is playing Dolly Parton covering "Stairway." Yes, *that* "Stairway."

Wow. Anyhoo - enjoy!

EverBabe sells a house (almost), or How much is TOO much Windex?

I likes me the story of the... unexpected tenent.

mathaeis: It's on...like hunting ducks!

If you were a child in the 80's - you'll appreciate this link. From a crazy person.

Thanks to KayRay for this Nintendo homage.

SuperMark & SeanJr: Separated at birth - by 35 years

so: nice father/son linkage.... with photos!

qwantz.com - dinosaur comics - August 29th 2005

SuperMark - Number one - this comic is you.

Number 2 - EverBabe is gonna make you clean up SeanJr's squished apples. Be warned.

SPOILER - Serenity in 2000 Words or Less - SPOILER

This will be both uninteresting and a huge SPOILER if you haven't seen Serenity yet.

If you have, you'll love it.

Promise.

It's all in the trailer -

OR: how to turn an american horror masterpiece into a coming-of-age story.

Let me know if you have troubles watching this video.

Funny one-liner about new Papal recruiting rules.

"If the pope is looking to find non-gay men who don't like to have sex with girls, then godspeed to him. But, if he's looking for suggestions, then I say he should start advertising heavily at comic book and D&D shops nation-wide. Most of these guys aren't gay, can't get girls, and are interested in fictional stories of good v. evil.

Frankly, that's the best Benedict is going to do."

VIDEO: Kanye West and Mike Meyers on SNL | The Superficial

EverBabe - This is for you -

Ther reunion tour.

The Joy of Tech! (or, a bunch of in-jokes for Firefly fans)

Giant Squid - Don't mess with them.

Two Slate Articles for Swoopy. Swoopy - if you are reading these: good. They are for you.

The other article is below. Or beside. Either way - still for Swoopy. Intelligent design isn't just your great-grandpa's creationism, they contend. Instead, it fills in the myriad "gaps" and "problems" in Darwin's theory of evolution with an unnamed, omnipotent "designer." (Hint: His name rhymes with "Todd.")

Note - not responsible for your keyboard if you read and are not Swoopy. Is all I am saying.

Oh no - I'm a democrat!

(i think it was the stupid environmental laws that got me - stupid environment!) I was voting with my pocketbook!

You are a Social Liberal (66% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (33% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating

for rob

You are a Social Moderate (43% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (50% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Bush & Blair - Endless Love

Amusing - but TRUE!

So, I had this party....

Well, I just had a party this Saturday. If you weren't invited - you are not alone. Due to (unprintable) stuff, lack of foresight, and just letting people fall though the cracks, I dropped a LOT of people who were supposed to come. Let me tell you about some of them: (again, these are the people, who, for the most part, did NOT get invitations.)

--> One of my DragonCon/D&D buddies who lives down the street asked me if I wanted to come over Saturday to learn a new game. I said no, I couldn't - "...but would you like to come to my party?" (AWK-ward.....)

--> After looking at my Evite list, I saw that some of the emails I were using had been bounced back as no longer in service. I was gonna get around to the whole updating email thing, buuuuuut.... Must be why I ended up with one girl there from college, but not her best friend. (also a good friend - sorry, H!.)

--> My ex-girlfriend, A. I fully intended on inviting her (we're still pretty close friends) and was wondering why she kept on hinting that "we should go to dinner next week to catch up." When I said "Well, you're coming to the party, right?" she mentioned that she hadn't been invited. Augh. In *my* mind, I think it was pretty clearly just a mistyping/oversite, as I invited some of her friends (Chris - you'll see more of him later) and her frickin' ROOMMATE. Clearly an oversight. In her mind - well, who knows. Mysteerious minds of women, and all. I still felt bad, but not as bad as i did about....

--> Big D's family, who I have been spending a bunch of time with since he got sick. I was pretty sure I had told them, and didn't want to burden them with too much to do. So then they called me the next morning, and invited me to a movie (Corpse Bride, pretty good, not as singable songs as Nightmare.) Robynn: "So, what did you do this weekend?" Me: "Had a... party?" Robynn: "Ooooh. Why?" Me, sinking lower in my chair: " My... birthday?" Robynn: "When's your birthday?!" Me, almost to the floor: "To...day? Didn't you get the Evites?" Robynn: "Noooooooo."
Me, as defensive as one is while sunk all the way into a chair: "Well... I sent one! Really!"
First thing I did upon getting back to the house; check my evite history. And I did send one - to Big D. Who has been in the hospital since the day I sent it out. Great job, Sean. Good followthrough.

IN OTHER NEWS:

OnlyAymie came, and had fun talking with various other people. She sent me a message earlier today that read "So, are you going to do a birthday fogo too?" (At the party... )"we and the chrises and their wives were talking about fogo outside and having not gone in a while."

Heh. The chris's.

Obituary - Thanks to KayRay for the link

I was really almost going to go to this fellow's memorial service... then I determined that there was a small chance it was for real. So I chickened out.

Apparently the picture caught KayRay's eye as she was flipping through the obits on Sunday. Understandable, once you see it. And if you are a little squeamish about finding humor in an obit... I'll have to tell you about the funniest dead animal I ever saw. Next time. If you ask for it. (and BirthdayTwin, you know I'm talking to you.)

Suggestion/Answer Book Sampler: Sex in the Stacks (at Duke)

Amusing Q/A by Duke's librarians about some of the... naughtier activites possible at collegiate libraries. I liked the tone of the answers. Interstingly, *safe* for work.

Thanks, Amazon! (Or - Funny Item!! Really!!)

I am almost petrified to determine what this product is used for.
(why would it come in 2.2 pound containers?)

-edited to make people want to click on the product link above.

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Hurricane Katrina (Carjackings)

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Hurricane Katrina (Carjackings): "E-mail details purported increase in carjackings and release of sex offenders after Hurricane Katrina. "

Noodle - Pass this along as necessary. Carjacker = Georgia resident. Released prisoners = Not really. Nigerian millionaire = not a good idea to make money.

Everyday Hero for Katrina

Thanks to V for this link, reminding us of people who do a great job.

Funny vignette - OR: it could happen to anybody.

So: Was looking at the E-vite to my par-tay this afternoon with a friend.

Friend: "I'm not even going to ask who half of these people are."

Me: "you should be able to guess at least ONE of those people; P-Dogg works in that office over there." /gesture at nearby office.

Friend: Brief pause, then "....Dennis?" (Pat's officemate)

Me (skeptical look) "Don't you mean Puh-Dennis? Or Puh-Theresa? (unless it's one of those silent 'p's that i have been hearing so much about. Or rather, *not* hearing so much about.) "

Friend: (bashfully) "Ah. P-Dogg is *Pat*."

Yes Virginia... P-Dogg is Pat.

Update to Sean's Weird Websearches!

Alrighty - A *bunch* of stuff has been happening recently - too much for me to really want to deal with all at one time. But instead of dealing with the past week in a chronological methodology, I would like to honor Google's new Blog Search capability. I am proud of Google, not incidentially the owner of blogger, where this blog is located. Only 2 months after Yahoo had blog searching capability, and about a year after it bought the company with the best blogsearch technology, it released it. In Beta, of course.
So, without delay, enjoy the wild world of (updated) wacky websearches that led people (poor, poor unsuspecting people) to my blog.

I'll separate searches by search engine, for ease of entry. And remember, these search rankings were true at the point that I entered the data in my spreadsheet. Feel free to play along at home, with the search engine of your choice.

For the term "carrottop", on AltaVista, I was ranked 4th. Yahoo had "carrottop in shape" at 4th too. How weird is THAT?

Yahoo had "dairy of a mad black woman"at 11th. Ask.com had the phrase "who starred in A Dairy of a Mad Black Woman"; and on the 22nd of August I was Number *1*. VICTORY!

I had two visitors from MSN Search. With the search "dragoncon 2005 photos", I was on page 13. "dragoncon 2005 pictures" on Yahoo came in a disappointingly low 82nd. The interestingly conjoined phrase "chick-filet dodgeball" gave me yet another number *1* - of the only three results total.

Technorati is the grandfather of blog searches. As such, the phrase "dailydancer" put me in the Top 6. "jojo green day concert" gave me yet *another* NUMBER 1 on 26-Aug.

As I mentioned last time, Yahoo is the real winner here in bringing peeps to my site. all below. are all phrases from that websearch.
Revisting some from the first edition of Sean's Weird Websearches: "John mcdonald the last one left" came in at sixth. However, the book still blows. Thanks, EverBabe, for "dog and porcupine" which came in 15th. Still that was better than "pictures of spider bites to the finger", a drooping 22nd. "dogthebountyhunter" was 77th when I checked on the search, but may have originally been in the top 40.

I show up at 3rd and 8th for the phrase "The 3 Variable Funny Test", only below the actual creators of the three variable test. How weird.
Yikes! My *link* to the Brian Ellis website, the originator of my quote "saying keep it real", is MUCH higher than even the original Brian Ellis website with this phrase.

"t-man transcript" Poor T-man - more popular than he liked, I imagine. But his real transcript would get an even higher ranking than the number *1* I recieved. The rank for the search for "Jennifer Nettles"was 93rd. I need to do a retrospective, maybe move back up on the list here.

I think the space in "cartman isms" must have contributed to my success to my NUMBER 1 PLACEMENT. "touched by his noodly appendage" Guys at the Skeptic's panel at DragonCon LOVED this site. But to be ranked number *1* for that search? For THIS blog? That's unlikely.

My site was 37th for the search "sean crisp". I am threatened by the existance of this fellow, and hope he's not a giant potato chip. Vampire. ...ermm.... Chipire. Never mind.

"WWW.BOOBOO.COM" came in at 50th. I just don't even begin to understand why my site is ranked number 50, instead of the original WEBSITE www.booboo.com.

Lastly, I am not sure which makes me more uncomfortable: the fact that SOMEBODY did a search for so-called "Freaky pictures", or that my site was in the 60-70 range.

NOT talking about SuperMark

EverBabe - I'm not saying this made me think of you. But I'm not saying it didn't.

Dear Prudence,

I'm sure, like most women, I sometimes feel I need to parent my husband. He is an intelligent man who started from an entry-level position in college to management, where he will celebrate 20 years this winter. He is an excellent husband and father. He worked two jobs to help put me through school. There are moments, though, when I feel our 4-year-old has better comprehension skills. Some things are little, like not rinsing dirty dishes or letting the garbage overflow; those I can overlook. Some things are more important. He has ruined many pieces of clothing (usually mine) by attempting to do laundry without sorting the colors, then gets upset when I bring it to his attention. His defense is that he is only trying to help. But this morning he fished his old toothbrush out of the garbage rather than ask me which new one was his. He said he didn't want to wake me. Prudie, I buy the same color every time! I do not understand how this seemingly intelligent executive can sometimes be an idiot savant. He is begging me to have a second child. After this latest incident, I am genuinely concerned. I do not want to be a single mother of three.

?Kissing a Garbage Mouth

Dear Kiss,

Would you be offended if Prudie said she smiled while reading your letter? Some men are just not on the domestic wavelength. Yours does seem very considerate of you otherwise. The missteps sound as though he is just not thinking about common-sense things, or perhaps he's a space shot if it's something he's not fully engaged with. Here's a mechanistic solution so you won't have to be annoyed anymore. By all means tell him he is relieved of laundry duty. Buy toothbrushes that have different configurations. (Maybe he's colorblind?) Because he wants to pitch in, "assign" him chores and then spell out how you'd like them done. And don't let the toothbrush episode stand in the way of a second child. Good luck managing your loving idiot savant. Prudie knows you can do it.

Thanks to Slate

KATRINA TIMELINE

This is a lint to a very interesting timeline that tends to.... *question* current talking points that the local and state governments didn't ask for help in time. I've pulled together some of the more applicable headlines. (PS - this timeline has links to each document, mostly from official websites such as whitehouse.gov - so while the website itself might have a political slant, the times and dates are likely correct)

Friday, August 26
GOV. KATHLEEN BLANCO DECLARES STATE OF EMERGENCY IN LOUISIANA

Saturday, August 27
GOV. HALEY BARBOUR DECLARES STATE OF EMERGENCY IN MISSISSIPPI [Office of the Governor]

GOV. BLANCO ASKS BUSH TO DECLARE FEDERAL STATE OF EMERGENCY IN LOUISIANA:

FEDERAL EMERGENCY DECLARED, DHS AND FEMA GIVEN FULL AUTHORITY TO RESPOND TO KATRINA:

Sunday, August 28

9:30 AM — MAYOR NAGIN ISSUES FIRST EVER MANDATORY EVACUATION OF NEW ORLEANS:

AFTERNOON — BUSH, BROWN, CHERTOFF WARNED OF LEVEE FAILURE BY NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER DIRECTOR:

Monday, August 29

7AM – KATRINA MAKES LANDFALL AS A CATEGORY 4 HURRICANE

10:30AM — MICHAEL BROWN FINALLY REQUESTS THAT DHS DISPATCH 1,000 EMPLOYEES TO REGION, GIVES THEM TWO DAYS TO ARRIVE:

U.S. unprepared to receive foreign aid - Americas - International Herald Tribune

"Even with difficulties delivering foreign aid, it is beginning to arrive at or near the Gulf Coast, including ready-to-eat meals from Britain, tents from France, and first-aid kits and baby formula from Italy"

For all of those who say: where is the aid from all of those other countries that we've helped in the past?

Blog showing the fact that we've been offered a *lot* of aid. (yes, even from France)

"The oil-rich nation of Qatar has offered the United States $100 million to assist in the humanitarian crisis triggered by Hurricane Katrina."

They can afford it, you say? How about the POOR nations, recently squashed by the tsunami?
"...official statements of sympathy and aid offers from at least 70 nations, including countries usually on the receiving end of U.S. and other foreign help. Among them was Bangladesh, which Monday pledged $1 million."

So, as a country, I think that it's clear that we have plenty to feel sorry for ourselves for; being abandoned by the rest of the world just doesn't fit the facts.

God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Sadly, once again some of the best coverage of disasters comes from our satirical and humor newsmagazines.

DragonCon 2005 - It's a Shindig!

Alrighty, I'll write a little about my fun times at the first night of DragonCon. It was where I dressed up as much as possible, and then boogied my pants off. Although they stayed on.

But, that is neither here nor there. Here are some random pictures of the ladies I danced with (probably at least 3 hours of dancing. yay, me.) But MAN I was sore; the entire rest of the (very) long weekend I was seen to moan and groan of my body's aches and pains, although no one seemed to care. Hmm... that might have had SOMETHING to do with what happened later that night. (more later on that - as if you pervs care. ) To the ladies!





















Here's an action shot of Jewel Staithe, in her prime beatbox mode.



Note Wacky Mr Jewel dancing like a loon as Jewel chitterchats with some lucky nobody. (...stoopid nobody)

This one's just weird. I like bad drag as much as the next guy (who doesn't!) Here she dancing with ... them?

Alrighty, the girl in red latex miniskirt. That was pleasant. She was dating/married to the guy on the left beside her, who was in an... *interesting* movie. Will tell you more about that later.

















Here we have a nice picture of Adam Baldwin. Who's he, you ask? Well, he's obviously in Serenity (the FireFly movie) BUT -> noticed him in Full Metal Jacket too. And he's 10 years OLDER than me. Weird.

Note RedLatex next to Adam. Is that close enough to a 'star' for you? {grin} Could have hit him in the head, if I didn't want to get pummeled. or more realistically, even if I *did* want that. Which I didn't. No, sir.

OK, stupidest story of the weekend. The Shindig got out about 3:30, which meant I got to the hotel about 4 AM. I *did* have a key to the hotel room, but it had been latched from the inside. So: possible bed was inside, as well as the keys to my car and house (so taxi wouldn't have helped.) Truthfully, I wasn't even positive there was room for me on the *floor*. I didn't want to beat on the door willy nilly and wake up a potential 17 peeps, and decided I'd just wait in the lobby til someone was moving around. Now, we were staying in the T- , not part of the main complex. Upon reflection, coulda/woulda/shoulda stayed in the two main hotels, and tried to sleep on a couch. Less homeless people wandering through the lobby. {YIKES}Seriously, it makes it harder to sleep if you're scared your booty will get jacked as you rest. So, I slept in a chair from 5 AM - 8 AM, in three one-hour increments. Then BigD (staying in the same hotel, and wandering out to charge his cell phone) told me to beat on the door. Which I did. And then they opened the door, and showed me to my fold-a-bed. Which was empty. {shakes head} But I did end up with this nice picture of me sleeping. (What? Sometimes I sleepphoto! (like sleepwalking, but *much* more unlikely.) )



More to come later!

Sean's StarStruck DragonCon '05

Alrighty, I'm home, and (mostly) alive. (although bedtime will be very, *very* soon, I wanted to post the best picture taken *with* my camera, albeit one of the few that *I* didn't take. I just wanted to show you guys the fact that my camera was *THIS CLOSE* to Jewel Staithe, actress in such shows as Firefly, Dead Like Me, and Wonderfalls. More details later on how the picture came to be, but the highpoints were: MixMaster Jewel, me really hurting after a night of dancing, and Mr Jewel posing. Like a poser. Stupid Mr Jewel. {grin} I'll probably either do one big post for the Con, or show some sort of highlight reel. I did take several accidental movies.

Hmm - just noticed it looks like she is nekkid. That is, however, not the case. As you'll see in the OTHER pictures. When I get them posted. Which will not be tonight. Sorry.

The Rebellion of the Talking Heads - Newscasters, sick of official lies and stonewalling, finally start snarling.

EverBabe - this story is EXACTLY what we were talking about today. The reporters, who like to at least have the appearance of impartiality, are so frustrated with the loss of life and back slapping by the officials that they are actually calling the politicians on their sh!t. Which is when journalists SHOULD be respected.

I'm curious about whether this will be the watershed event that will give journalists back their good name.

Summary of Findings: Religion A Strength And Weakness For Both Parties

CRAP CRAP CRAP

Or, as Slate says, "Sixty-four percent of Americans want schools to teach creationism along with evolution. Forty-two percent think "living things have existed in their present form since the beginning of time," and another 18 percent believe in evolution but think a supreme being guides it."

Or, as SuperMark says: "42% of Americans think evolution is a total crock? That's amazing."

Ah well - maybe we'll have bred that out in 100 years.

2005 Dragon Con - Or, How Sean Spent His Weekend As A Big Ol' Dork

So, DragonCon, the annual nerd-a-thon here in Atlanta, starts today. I had always wanted to go, and this year seemed like a good time. (no previous committments, etc.) Registration was last night, and I bumped into two groups of variously leveled geek friends.

(it looks as though i very carefully took a movie of them and Chewbacca, instead of a still - I will try to get a screen capture, though)

Enjoy the sight of a blurry Chewbacca and apparently the back of some short Imperial trooper.

PS - if you haven't heard from me by Tuesday, call the police.

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Politics (Katrina and the Waves)

AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT GAS PRICES AND SNOPES.

Thanks to ME for looking over at Snopes.

Racism on Flickr - Or does Looting = Finding

Above is an interesting look at two reporters biases, as based upon their captions for some Katrina photos. PS - WTF is up with Atlanta? Snopes should have a full time person taking care of our 'gas shortage' - doubling in price to $5 a gallon, all because "someone" heard that "the government" was going to close all stations at 4 PM. You know, because we had no gas in town?

Thanks to Slate for the first link.

Teenage Wasteland - Farewell to the sadistic pleasures of Brat Camp.

Alrighty, this guy's review of this show I have never seen made me call EverBabe TWICE. (sorry about that.) First was this quote, which for whatever reason made me think of SuperMark.

Reality TV is not even a guilty pleasure anymore. It's as if our entire culture has reached the halfway point in a gigantic bag of Cheetos and just collectively decided to go ahead and finish it off.

Secondly, there was this little gem, which saw co-workers witness me snort DietCoke(Tm) out of my nose.

"Brat Camp was like porn for people who hate teenagers, which is probably the largest target audience possible, since it includes everyone in the world, even (and especially) teenagers.
Though I'm normally a pretty empathetic person, I hate teenagers with incredible fervor. It's nothing personal: I hate them categorically, like I hate injustice. "

USATODAY.com - HipClicks

Howdy - So, I got spammed a teeny tiny bit. On my blog. I mean, seriously... WTF?

Anyhoo - before I realized that it was a series of spam bots (or maybe just one industrious bot) just dumping crap in my comments, I clicked on a link in the comment, as sort of a quid pro quo. For Womens Shoes So I clicked on it, and found what looked like a websearch had thrown up on a weblog. Strange. BUT - there was an interesting looking link containing Nicholas Brendan (Xander from Buffy) and womens shoes, so i clicked on THAT. And found the link hidden in the title above. Which led me to stay at work an extra 2.5 hours, making up for the time wasted because of that link.

BDayGirl, Noodle, EverBabe, KayRay, even Princess: You'll all dig the entertainment links there. Just again: don't start when you have a deadline. (the thing that started me down the primrose path.... OF DOOM was a Tim Burton directed gum commercial from France.)

(Noodle - you might like that WTF site. I haven't looked at it, but it appears to be a bunch of people, just venting.)

USATODAY.com - Live from Buffalo: Green Day in concert

OK, OK, I didn't see this show in Buffalo, it was here in Atlanta. But it appears that they have similar shows wherever they go. Which is OK. It was a pretty rocking show.
BDayTwin - Thanks so much for the ticket! (I mean, even if you just got them fo' free from your realtor, I still got to sit in the Delta skybox at Phillips arena. Yay, you!

(also: the guitarist they pulled onto the stage from the audience was 13, and named JoJo. "Sounds familiar," Billie Joe said. Heh)

EverBabe: Off topic: Fogo de Chao

I've had an interesting time recently, foodwise. Thurs was a great happy hour with the work crew, followed by a catch-up dinner with A. Sunday night, with the crew of Skepticality.com, had some GREAT chicken nachos at the Ale House; they were both great in tastin' as well as great in OH MY GOD THERE ARE TWO WHOLE CHICKENS IN THESE CHICKEN NACHOS. Seriously. It was huge. Shared with the rest of the table, and still didn't finish. It was IMMENSE.

So you'll understand why, on Monday, I didn't really need any more food. I was gonna start that whole 'diet' thing once more, and everything. Until I got the call from EverBabe. Sheesh. Fogo. 10 lbs of meat - just what I need to maintain my girlish figure.

Anyhoo - go ahead and read her description of our visit. It'll leave me more time to blog about the Green Day concert from last night.

Freaky CarrotTop Ripped pictures

Please, only click on the above link if you can handle seeing Carrot Top without a shirt. But still needing a haircut.

Badly.

Avant Game: the ministry of reshelving

I just really like the idea of this-enough so I might hit Border's on my way home tonight.

"How to Serve the Ministry of Reshelving

1. Select a local bookstore to carry out your reshelving activities.

2. Download and print 'This book has been relocated by the Ministry of Reshelving' bookmarks and 'All copies of 1984 have been relocated' notecards to take with you to the bookstore. Or make your own. We recommend bringing a notecard and 5-10 bookmarks to each store.

3. Go to the bookstore and locate its copies of George Orwell's 1984. Unless the Ministry of Reshelving has already visited this bookstore, it is probably currently incorrectly classified as 'Fiction' or 'Literature.'

4. Discreetly move all copies of 1984 to a more suitable section, such as 'Current Events', 'Politics', 'History', 'True Crime', or 'New Non-Fiction.'"

Thanks to Today's Blogs in Slate for this link. They also had a great link to the NPR article about it.

Amusing Tautalogical Webcomic, in the style of Dinosaur Comics

Zing!

TechgnosisWeb ? Touched by his Noodly Appendage?

Don't even ask me about how I came across a link to an open letter containing details about an alternative form of Intelligent Design, to be taught in Kansas Schools. It's been endorsed by Bush (sorta) and looks to be at least as intellectually rigorous as the other form of ID. TechgnosisWeb ? Touched by his Noodly Appendage?

FYI: Please look at the chart comparing Global Warming and Pirates, and then tell me this guy isn't right on the money.

SuperMark has a booboo.

Funny post on SuperMark's site. I like the part about being five. Cause, you know... he's not. zeekar: Oww.

In the interest of equal time:

Received this picture of my niece today, and decided to have a caption contest. The one judged best (by an impartial judge, who is me) will win a Prize(Tm)

Comment away! And see my submission below.

"After much consideration, I have decided that pink is really not my color. On the other hand, just *look* at my curls!"

WWW.COLINFAHEY.COM : Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) : Answering All Questions Incorrectly!

OK, don't read this at work (and you know who you are.) But Snopes pointed me towards this guy, who documented his "(ALMOST) EVERY QUESTION ON THE S.A.T. WRONG" experience. *he answered two correctly - on accident.)

(And as a reminder, Snopes refers to www.snopes.com, the Urban Legend site.)

Fun with web-counters! And Search Engines, too!

Yahoo seach has stolen the lead on Google, at least in the short term. Or at least when it comes to my blog, which is interesting, because Google owns Blogger. But more on that later.

FYI - web-trackers are an interesting thing. They let you know how many unique vistors you've had to your site. Although someone visiting 3-5 times a day might throw the numbers off, I look at it as a close guestimate. One other thing that they can do is give you some info on the people who've visted recently. It lets you judge which stories are the most popular, and the web domains that visitors come from. I admit it, I checked a little obsessively at first, but now only look every week or so. Really. {grin}

A funny thing related to the above arose from a recent sad thing in my life. Red has moved away to Berkeley to fulfill her dream of getting a degree from a school that shares her name. {grin} not really - instead, she's getting her masters, and will hopefully return to work in a year. The Tuesday after she left on this cross-country trip, there was a visitor to my site from the domain Berkeley.Edu. "Hooray," I thought quietly to myself, "she's there safely, and wants to see what's going on with me!" Then I noticed the timestamp (4 AM) and looked at the detail of the visit.

Apparently, instead of Red, it was someone who had searched on Yahoo for "definition for hella". I did the same, and sure enough, my blog was link number 8 for that search. And number 10. Good timing, random Yahoo surfer! If I knew who you were, I'd introduce you to Red - sounds the two of you would have a hella good time. Unless it *was* you, Red. Eh, I'm pretty sure you have already have the definition of hella down pat.

In honor of that search, I wanted to do a entry with some recent searches that have brought people to my site, even if accidentially. (I am beginning to think that "Finger File" may sound dirtier to a web searcher than it actually is.) These rankings are accurate as of 9:40 PM, 8/16.

Someone from the domain Army.mil did a search on "you sure do have a pretty mouth". I would like to say that in this case, I am proud to support the troops. However, something about the combination makes me not want to drop the soap. But for that search I was number 10.

I am proud and surprised to see that I am number 4 for the search "dog vs. porcupine". Snopes is still number one, as it should be. "dog vs porcupine" ranks my site 5, "dog-porcupine" is at 9th, while "porcupine, dog" puts me at 16.

I honestly have NO IDEA who did this search originally, but "dance white boy" and "andrew sullivan" together make me smack at number one. I have no clue how I beat out Andrew Sullivan for this honor. Weird search engine heuristics, I suppose.

Finally, I'll end with a tribute to EverBabe. It's another Number One ranking, which I never would have gotten if it hadn't been for her. "gross finger spider bite pictures" I think that the search says it all. It truly was hella gross.

Light. Crisp. Refreshing.

So, SuperMark has fallen to whoring SeanJr out for product placement. (what makes it whoring, you ask? Why, the fact that I haven't seen my residuals yet.) {grin}

ight. Crisp. Refreshing.

Updated to show the picture directly.

Experimental Special Graphical Short Term Forecast - GraphiCast

The link above is mostly for P-Dogg, or anyone else who wants an Experimental Short Term Graphical Weather Forecast. For the Atlanta area.

Go, Team Weather!

Have you SEEN the new nickel?

So, KayRay at work hooked me up with the new, 2005 nickel. If you haven't seen it, enjoy it in all of its buffalo'ed glory. The obverse has a strange picture of Jefferson (it's like they couldn't even get his face all the way in the frame. ) But in an impromptu work poll, people thought it looked modern/contemperary. So go Team US Mint!
However, the question that arise for me is regarding the buffaloes... equipment. I mean, seriously; are they trying to give half of the population inferiority complexes?
With a NICKEL? (I could understand a big wang on the 20...)

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Arts | Art prankster sprays Israeli wall

Thanks to Slate for the above link - i've heard of this same guy sneaking art INTO museums, but to grafitti today's equivalent of the Berlin Wall - YIKES. BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Arts | Art prankster sprays Israeli wall

Sean's New Totally NonGay Bedspread!

So, had a friend over the other day, and she said, "Hey, great bedspread... had the same one in college!" to which i replied, "yes, I think everyone did." We shared a laugh, and then had a fun night of kareoke.
Pretty boring story, I know, but upon reflection a few days later, I realized that 'same bedspread since college' isn't necessarily the image that I want to put out for the 'lay-deez.'
So when I saw that Amazon was having a sale, and the purchase of this (along with my new cast iron skillet) would likely get me to a rebate point, I went ahead and ordered it. EverBabe and Heather (brother's wifey) helped make sure the Bed-In-A-Bag I choose wasn't too college, or too grandmother, or too - well, you know. (larger floral prints were right out.) But this one appealed to the South Carolinian in me; maybe it was the palmettos.

Column: l33t sp34k - Say WHAT?

Was trying to explain Elite Hacker Speech (l33t sp34k) to a co-worker. Searched for a primer on google - found the link buried in the title above. Loved it. A humorous introduction to many of the problem children of the interweb.

Sluggy Freelance Index

This one is primarily for SuperMark - Although is Fontenot ever logs on, he might enjoy it. It is a link to an index for what is probably my favorite long-term webcomic, Sluggy Freelance. WARNING - this is a 7 day a week webcomic, that has been around for almost 8 years. This means that there are over 2000 pages, or a good 400 weeks worth. THAT means that if you have a deliverable, you best not go there. And definately don't be drinking, unless you want to buy a new keyboard. Sluggy Freelance Index

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Dog vs. Porcupine)

EverBabe (et al) you may not want to open; but speaking of dumb dogs....Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Dog vs. Porcupine)

OKCupid! The 3 Variable Funny Test

Thanks, SuperMark, for this - I love that picture of the kitten. (don't know why I'm half as dark as you - i do like farts.)

the Wit (56% dark, 34% spontaneous, 22% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean you're pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most effort to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais AND FINALLY -- after you rate my test with a sweet, sweet '5' -- you must take this test next: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test. It's not mine, but it rocks.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 54% on dark You scored higher than 0% on spontaneous You scored higher than 9% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Ad critics want no Bad Apples

If 'health food critics' think that advertising for Apple Jacks makes kids not want to eat apples, then KILL ME NOW. Ad critics want no Bad Apples

Random Musings From My Trip to the Beach...

... will come later. Right now, I want to complain about my hiccups.

Oh, Lorda Mercy. I don't think that I have ever had hiccups as long as I have right now. Jeebus. {hic}I started to put in a {hic}hic {hic}{hic}{hic}every ti{hic}me that I hicc{hic}up.

{hic}

Anyway - it started about {hic}9 PM last night, as {hic}we were leaving Putt-putt {hic}(a family tradition {hic}at Panama City Beach.) {hic}It continued at {hic}least 4 hours, un{hic}til I was asleep, with my {hic}sleep apnea {hic}machine on. 10{hic} minutes after I went {hic}to bed, laying {hic}down, trying to {hic}get them to leave via sheer will power, they stopped. {hic}
They were {hic}gone when I {hic}woke up, {hic}but returned around {hic}9 AM this morning. I re{hic}ally don't know if I {hic}woke {hic}myself up with them or not, but I do know that I wirsh that {hic}I didn't have them. {hic}
BOOGER - this SUXORS. {hic}Anyhoo - being away from my {hic}computer - nay, *all* {hic}Interweb {hic}access, I went ahead {hic}and did what I always do in this situation. {hic}Call Ever{hic}Babe. {hic}And found out that she's been {hic}plague-ridden her{hic}self this week. {hic}. {hic}. But luckily she had enough {hic}{hic}stamina to go the the Webernet and lo{hic}ok up hiccups, cure of. {hic}Which she did. Spoonful of sugar. {hic} Hold breath until I pass out. {hic} Breathe into a paper bag. {hic} Well, haven't done that yet.{hic} Still mig{hic}ht. {hic}Man.
According to WebMD,{hic}though, the answer in most home remedies lies in {hic} increasing the carbon dioxide {hic} in the blood. {hic} Which makes sense {hic} for everything but the {hic} the sugar. {hic} I am going to try the holding of {hic}my breath right now to see {hic} how it does. {hic} That's {hic} VERY HARD TO DO{hic}.

So, when I got {hic}to the {hic} hotel tonight, I went ahead{hic} and looked it up on the {hic}Webatron. On WebMD. {hic} Click here if you are curious. {hic}{hic} I learned that if they last {hic} another day, they are {hic} Persistant hiccups. {hic} Then they turn into {hic} Intractable {hic} hiccups. {hic} Those can be a sign of {hic}a central nervous disorder{hic}, or mental pro{hic}blems. Make your {hic} own jokes there. {hic}

I'm gonna s{hic}top complaining, and{hic} hit the road. {hic} I'll fill you in {hic} later. {hic}
PS - as of midnight, they went away. Although they tried to sneak back in this morning, I think I took care of them. I went ahead and edited to fix spelling errors this morning.

the Erudite Baboon: I think I need to reconsider my priorities

So: I'm not sure whether or not I told you about Beaver & Steve. It's pretty funny, if updated just a couple of times a week. Turns out the author is British (and actually was at the Stockwell station before the guy there got shot yesterday.) He also has a few blogs (that are VERY funny, OnlyAymie) and there's this one story that - well, let me just say to click on the title of this post.

But don't do it at work - or while eating a sammich.

Click for comix

I wish this whole comic didn't relate so perfectly to me, trendy hips and all.

Shout-out to the guys.

Heh. Poo.

Roberts Reviewed - The good old days.

EverBabe - this may be a neutral(ish) conversation about the Supreme. (I'm waiting for Dahlia) Roberts Reviewed - The good old days. By Viet?Dinh,?Dahlia?Lithwick, and Cliff?Sloan

Pick up some chicks?!?

So tonight, Sneezey (or LoudBobby, as he's asked to be called) said: hey, let's drink a lot, as this is your last night on the job here in Southern Illinois. OK, I said. Cause I am easy that way. So we started at the Hampton Inn (his hotel - free drinks from 5 - 6:30.) [weird reality interlude - girl in bikini just walked by - too young, but hey - I hear that hell is nice this time of year.] He has a couple, I have a couple, then we head over to the the THREE FREE DRINKS A NIGHT INN I'm staying at - and split those. Then we head to the first of three bar/restaurants that were recommended to him by the cute girl working at the Hampton; 17th Street BBQ, Applebee's, and O'Charley's. (As you can probably tell, this is not a real 'homegrown' kind of town. Generica(Tm) Forever!)
So: we walked to the 17 Street, and had a beer: total sausage fest. Applebee's: the same. So I;'m like: let's check out the pool at Hampton, and call it a night. And LB's like: no no no, let's hit O'Charley's. CuteGirl said it, so it must be so. And I'm like, wouldn't you rather hit on CuteGirl at Hampton - no walking! And he's like ... well, I don't remember, but it must have been convincing, cause there I was, walking though a field to O'Charley's. {psigh} (Did I mention I was in middle of nowhere Illinois? And had been drinking?)
ANYhoo - long story short, I'm walking. And walking. And walking. As we approach the restaurant (after about 152 miles of walking,) I brush a bug from my arm. Only it doesn't brush. Oh; a tick. Gross. I give it the flick-to-oblivion and say to LoudBobby "Tick." He laughs a little, and we enter the restaurant. COMPLETE sausage fest - 1 girl, 9 guys. As LoudBobby said: Ratio like Georgia Tech. Heh. He orders a beer, I try to stay upright on a stool while drinking my water. Time passes. He gets a wierd look on his face as he brushes his leg. "Oh - I thought you were kidding."
"Nope." say I. He disposes of it in the bathroom, as do I with the one I find on my arm 10 minutes later. Grosser. I figure I either had 3 ticks on me, or one VERY determined, Terminator(TM) like one. I give LoudBobby some shit. He takes it well. We leave, only to be rained on. I look at LoudBobby. "What!?!" "Uh huh..." I reply.


Pick up chicks, pick up ticks. He was close. ;-) It was a good day.

The Boy(s) Who Cried Wolf

Wha wha WHERE to begin?

First of all - I'm back in Southern Illinois. Yes yes yes, I know - It was here that I started my more... *introspective* blog entries... but that is all a thing of the past. All is different in my life, with much less angst: no more A., that is true, but just knowing where things stand make it all much better. (editors note: upon reflection, the angst is still there. Just wanted you, faithful reader, to know that I was able to identify my BS.

Anywhay - In my favorite inn in Marion, Illinois. THREE FREE DRINKS A NIGHT INN Have a co-worker (my favorite man-crush... we'll call him Sneezey.) Told him about the aforementioned THREE FREE DRINKS, but he decided to get his safe Hampton Inn Delta Skymiles. All to his deteriment.

After a meeting with the subcontractor (also staying at the THREE FREE DRINKS A NIGHT INN) Sneezey headed back to his hotel (across the parking lot) I went up to my room, and got a call from my cousin (don't remember what I called her last time - could have been Princess? Or Precious? Or - eh, just run with the girl cousin; should be enough information.) ANYhoo, talked with her downstairs, as the sky opened up. Was glad to see that the desk clerk who was the spitting image of Holly from college was there. Best thing is that Cindy apparently knows my name too, but hey - I've been staying at the THREE FREE DRINKS A NIGHT INN for quite some time now, so they SHOULD know me. Earlier today the sub (who, in keeping with my dwarfian naming convention, I'll call Grumpy,) told me that she just celebrated a birthday. Her 21st. Ouch. But, that's neither here nor there.

So, since it had just started raining, and I didn't want to get wet, I decided against going outside. I did, however, bring my bathing suit; so I decided to go down to the pool and swim a (short) lap or two. (I fully recognize the irony here.) I checked the hours, saw I had another 30 minutes, and changed into my suit. I figured what with vacation next week, I'd go ahead and get used to people mocking my figure. You see, it's not that I am not in shape; I most definitely am. It just that, well... the shape that I am in is round. (BA-dump-dump)

As well, I decided against wearing my glasses, which has a twofold effect; number one, I can't see; number two - my life is a lot more pleasant. If blurry. You see, without one's glasses, one has plausible deniability for the looks of disgust that probably are coming for this round guy rolling into the pool. Another advantage - all the girls you see are pretty. At least potentially. And a fair amount of them are topless. Unless those are hippy boys, but again - plausible deniability.

Got to the pool. In the hot tub were two pretty blondes (at least potentially) and thin guy - MASSIVE farmer's tan, pale chest. (Even without the glasses, the glare was blinding. {grin}) So, I jumped in the pool, did baby laps, then nonchalantly squinted my way to the hot tub. And got in. To the sounds of silence.

Well, the sounds of white noise bubbles, anyway. {BUBBLEBUBBLEBUBBLE} They appeared to be waiting for something, I didn't know what. I squinted politely, and sat in the water. They looked around, nervously, nonchalantly, with flair: *I* couldn't tell. I looked in various directions, realizing only too late that it was impossible for me to look at the ladies and know if they were looking at me looking at them. Which really means it's not safe to look at them at all. So you look out the window, and realize that's not really a window, it's really a wall. So you feel like an idiot, and slowly turn your head. And realize that you haven't said anything to anybody, and now they think that you are a stalker. But really you are just enjoying the bubbles, even if they have made your suit fill with air in an embarrassing location. And realize that they haven't said anything to YOU either, and now it's just an embarassing farce the likes of which Mr Bean would be proud.

Then the cute blonde in the black string bikini says "You here for the class?" But what I hear is "MMm Mmmmm m mm mMM?" Bubbles, you know. And I say: "What?" She repeats, and I say 'Which class?" And she goes "What?" Still the bubbles. (assume that every question and answer from here on out had at least one set of WHAT? and Ohhhhh.'s )

She answered "Meth" and I said "Beth," thinking that she had given me *her* name
instead of the class name, and that was darn easy. And then she said "Methamphetamines." and I thought that was a funny name. And then Pink flower string bikini said "We learned how to make meth today in class." which is something I didn't realize they had classes for. But no, they were learning how to deal with meth addicts, and as a bonus they learned how to make meth. I asked where they were from, and they told me. Mrmemmemr, IL. Or IN. It's on the border.

Then to PaleGuy, BlackSuit says: "where ARE they?" Long story short, they sent out two of their buddies to get beer in their car one and a half hours previously. And still no word; at least no word since they called saying they had hit a culvert, and where was the insurance card. But these guys were jokers, and played inappropriate pranks at work all the time, so my crew (finishing off the beer here, and getting more and more irked,) was pretty sure that Manny and Mo were in a bar. In the county car. Which was a no-no. Especially after the previous night, when shennanigans had ensued. So Flowers, BlackSuit, and PaleGuy were getting more and more irritated, and trying to track them down. Checking their room (no luck) Calling their cells (no answer,) even paging them. Finally PaleGuy had had enough - he called the police to see if there had really been an accident. To hell with them; if they got pulled over as a result of his call (and drinking was involved) then so be it.

Then they walked in, just when PaleGuy got the call from the sherriff's dept confirming the accident. Oops. All that energy wasted on cussin their names, SURE that they had found a good bar. And they really *had* hit a culvert, avoiding someone in the rain. Worst thing - they didn't have the beer.

About then Cindy showed up, booting us out of the pool area. She had let us stay an extra 30 minutes, possibly because of me. As she said to me later, paraphrasing, "it's not often that you're sharing the hot tub with people WORTH sharing it with."

So, long story short: did I get a name, number, or some other form of ID? No, of course not. Except for my new friend Meth. But I did get to spend an hour in the hot tub with two (potentially) pretty blondes from MememMMer, IL, and then write a RIDICULOUSLY long blog entry. So that makes it a nice night.

Mom just called. Wasn't sure she was going to enjoy the concert to which she was going: LL Kool J and the Gang.

The questions brought up by this are myriad, and I leave them as an exercise for the reader. BUT - Mom did come to my company picnic a few yeara ago at Stone Mountain, and Kool & the Gang were performing - caused a tremendous traffic jam. More popular than one would expect.

This is a gift to EverBabe - please don't take your life. It's not worth dyin' over an urban exaggeration. (Won't call it a myth, cause it's undetermined. Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Brown Recluse)

Multiple fun things:

EverBabe - I know it's not going to make you want to *date* them, but they're not gonna kill you. However, If you can see his eyes, you are WAY too close. {shudder}

From our software instructor, a very nice fellow from London, who has just returned from Thailand with his girlfriend. (And what happens in Bankok, stays in Bankok.) He mentioned that he used a lot of DEET, because "I'd rather my skin fall off than get Malaria." Heh. Too true.

Wowza - friend of mine mentioned in the pre-bombing front page artivle at the local paper! You guy, big guy!World needs your ideas? Podcasting to the rescue! | ajc.com

A comic for all of the ladies in my life (both work and personal) who just keep on breedin. And who watch Star Wars. The B-Movie Comic

Heh heh... classic SNL ad. (we miss your voiceovers, Phil)

I don't know if I can continue to blame Ebay. After all, i continued to visit the site, and make my bids. So: if anyone want to come over and sing for almost one full work week - I have the goods.
eBay item 5784503778 (Ends Jun-30-05 16:00:00 PDT) - KARAOKE Music 27 CDG disc over 500 Song HITS - MEGAPACK

OK - this is really one of the coolest neat things that I have seen Goggle do in a BUTT-long time. Well, that's not 100% true. Cool things have been falling out of Google for some time now. BUT - For everyone who wants to look at their house, and then pretend to fly to Paris, and zoom in on the Eiffel Tower, may I recommend the following link? (MapGeek - THIS IS GONNA MAKE YOUR PANTS FEEL TIGHT.) Slashdot | Google Earth Launching For Free

Thanks to Slashdot for the link to a strangely tempting offer for a buncha books. The nice thing about this offer is that it's from a company (Penguin) which has one of the coolest ladies in the world working for a subsiderary. Everbabe's high school best friend, Nicole (so-called because of her unCANny resemblence to Nicole Kidman), works for Penguin Putnam, the sci-fi branch of Penguin. (Unlike the original Nicole, however, *our* Nicole has kept her hair, in all of it's ringleted glory. Link to Amazon's 1,082-volume Classics Collection: $7,989

A great time was had last night at Chastain by Everbabe, A, Ogre, and I. (Thanks to A for the planning!) Prarie Home Companion was being recording for broadcast tonight. I'm listening to it now, but am disappointed at the removal of some of my favorite parts (the parts behind the scene.) During the Catchup commercial, they had to vamp a little as they started the scene without scripts. That was funny. (they vamped pretty well.) Secondly, there was a local blueswoman who grew on me. Precious Bryant: "The Truth" | AccessAtlanta She's a little older than my Mom, and still wrote a song about Jessica Alba. I can *definately* respect that.

Two things - EverBabe has claimed not to want to NetFlix merely to sate my HUGE ego. Maybe your comments will make her choose differently. We can try!

Secondly, after watching a recent MythBusters on drinking & driving vs cell phone use and driving, I was reminded of Dr Johnny Fever's experiences upon an on-air drinking test. Enjoy this link to good quotes.

As a freshman at Ga Tech in the early 90's , I was first exposed to Unix. Now Linux is making a pretty strong headway into mainstream cultrue, and the little penguin guy is pretty cute. My favorite Unix memory, however, comes via Stephen Spielburg. Quoted this just the other day. Ode to Unix

(PS - I'm in this one too. {grin} )

The Deadly Trackers

EverBabe - I need you to put this movie on your NetFlix.

(because I am apparently in this movie. Or at least my namesake. )

Thanks, Google, for letting me know! Washington Heights (2002)

this next link is for MapGeek. P-Man - they can't stop the signal!NMU (06/16/2005): City must release electronic GIS mapping data

Later: Phew. Lost. Maybe next time? {grin}

AUGH.

Two words.

EBay. IstheDevilItellyoutheDevil.

I just was looking for Kareoke CD's. (long story, tell you later.)

And there it was: the grail. 500 songs on 27 discs. For only $40. So, I bid. ($33.00 bid, $7.00 shipping.)

Do you know how long it would take me to sing those songs? at 3.5 minutes a song (hopefully no american pie) & 500 songs, that's 1750 minutes, or almost one work week.

i'll let you know if i get beat.

Thanks to Justin for this link, reminescent of the DailyDancer. (Altho I am not 100% sure thanks are in order.) As he put it: "I wish I had some sort of explanation for this."numanuma (Justin: the world may be better off without it.)

Now, where was I that I completely missed all of this story the first go around? Murder, extortion, and jetpacks! Why isn't THIS story the plot of a Grisham thriller?

Two poo related stories from the news, in honor of my friends with new (and old) babies.

Mountaineers who ascend North America's loftiest peak are often brought down to earth by "virus-laden poo" left behind by previous climbers, a medical report says.
The unsanitary conditions created by piles of human feces on Mount McKinley can cause diarrhea among climbers, which can lead to widespread problems when combined with the physical stress of a mountain expedition, according to the report in the journal Wilderness and Environmental Medicine.

and

Four North Texas high school varsity cheerleaders put human feces on a pizza during a cheerleading camp and then returned the pizza to a rival high school squad, claiming the rivals had done the disgusting deed, school district officials confirmed this week.

You're welcome. ;-)

Quick little vignette:

This past weekend, went out to eat at a local restaurant. Now, Chinese food is my 'comfort food,' and buffets even more so. So when I found a Chinese Buffet called King Jade Palace China Garden Golden Buddha Dragon within 2 miles of my house, I was happy. So I went on Saturday night.

Ah, the pleasant sights, smells, and sounds of a traditional Chinese restaurant. The giant lighted picture of a harbour with little boats beside skyscrapers and a verdant mountain. Various seafoods, from shrimg to snow crab legs to stir-fried blue crabs (yum!) The sounds of a mariachi band coming from the back room.

(Mariachi Band?) {Yes. Apparently they rent out their back room, and there was a mexican wedding reception.} (Huh.) {Yup.}

In reality, that sounds like a good idea. I will keep it in my list of potential ideas for any potential receptions I have, along with the Truck Stop Reception. (TM) (And for any future Mrs Sean reading this, I'm not necessarly (sp?) kidding. With either one. Sorry)

Alrighty: Part two of my late transcript of 2 weeks ago in Charleston. This last was written as I waited to pick up my Mom from the Charleston airport. Brain -> Paper -> Pocket -> YOU, in only 2 short weeks... the power of the internets.

Graduation. Mine was 15 years ago, and I was never *this* cool. I am pretty sure that I spent a fair amount of my graduation weekend looking for a blonde crush of mine with a kitten in my shirt in a sportscar being driven by a sometimes suicidal friend of mine - but that is neither here nor there. (Although I do find myself wondering whatever became of that kitten.)

While sitting here in the airport, I'm reminded of the Ani DiFranco song "Arrival Gate." As I have my MP3 playa, I might just listen to it now. {pause} Found it. Wow, I had a lot of Ani to cycle through. (156/170 songs.) Stolen lyric: "I have determined it's a sure cure for cancer, watching excitement turn family dogs into dancers at the arrival gate." Mom's here - brb.

She apparently rode back into Chas from Philly with the entire Riverdogs baseball team, the AAA Yankees franchise. Cute buys? Yes. But then she said "10 years younger than my sons." Ouch. Thanks for the reminder, Mom.

WonderCon Clip 300k_wmv.asx

If you would like to look at something, something that attracts your attention almost unwillingly in the fashion of a trainwreck, check out this guy.Daily Dancer

As EverBabe pointed out, its like SuperMark made this video. Or series of videos. Although for a geek he really seems to be in pretty good shape. In his one room apartment, with tarps on the windows and a strange, mysterious hidden accomplice in the computer chair to the right.

The only reason it doesn't look like my dancing is that I would be singing along with the songs. Otherwise, it's pretty much right on.

EverBabe - another summer reality TV mustwatch. Nobody Puts Baby in?a Corner - Dancing With The Stars is an improbably goofy delight. By Dana?Stevens

So:

After a fair amount of working the past few days, I took off from work a little early yesterday and went over to spend some time with SeanJr and EverBabe. While there, for SOME unknown reason, I decided to do some situps and pushups.

Today, my pecs are VERY sore. Lesson learned? (A) do more pushups to build my muscles into shape? or (B) never do a pushup again.

Hmm. I'll let you know what I decide.

So: this is a transcript of my LiveBlog of T-man's High School Graduation. Play along at home to win!

I drove down to Charleston with Ogre & his wifey- turns out his nephew was also graduating, although no one knew that until the Saturday before graduation. (yay, English!) Got to Charleston about 30 minutes before the ceremony. It started out well enough, with the graduates all walking up the center of the aisle. Apparently, though, Thomas had a lot going on in his mind, cause he forgot that he was in Chorus, or at least that Chorus was singing the National Anthem. Miss Austin, my middle school Chorus teacher, was leading them. Wow. 20 years since I've seen her lead a singing group. {pause} She's still pretty good.

-> This current principal, less fired than mine, still had a lot of the blah blah blah.

-> Wando HS really seemed more rocking than when I was there. They had one of the Top 30 Literary Magazines, Top Student Newspaper in the US, and most members in All State Band, etc, etc.

-> The salutatorian speech sux0r3d. "Thanks for Everything, guys!" However, only speech to quote both Ecclisiates and "Yedi Master Yoda."

-> This was the first graduating class for the new building that Wando HS is in. They donated a picture of the (probably politically incorrect) Wando Warrior profile made up of their individual photos.

-> Rob Black. Who was he? Why did everybody keep quoting his Autobiography? Who killed him? What did he know, and when did he know it? Is it secret? Is it safe?

-> One of the graduating seniors had a better beard than my other brother did upon graduating COLLEGE. Heh.

-> Principal mentioned that there was a wonderful Latin band. Tuba, Tubar, Tubarum.

-> Long straight hair is apparently in for High School Senior girls. Ragamuffin hair for guys, with a couple of Citadel military cuts. Also open-toed high-heeled shoes.

-> Introduced as SC's next governor later in the evening, Joe S. couldn't figure out how to work the microphone. For like 2 full minutes. Probably seemed longer to him.

-> The valedictorian had a better Star Wars joke than the salutatorian. Perhaps the fact that she had four names gave her the edge not just in the classroom, but with the joke as well. Also: she said that word "chromosomes" like cah-ROH-mah-sohms. Only funny because she's getting a molecular biology degree from UT Texas.

-> Quick question: US Government (upon reflection, probably one of the more important classes out there- fail to understand the basic priciples of math, and you might get fleeced at the checkout counter; do the same with government and you end up in jail or convicted for treason.) So, why does it almost INVARIABLY get taught by frickin' COACHES? It would almost seem to be one of Bri's "Old White Men" consipracies.

-> September 11th: Now not just for US presidents to overuse, but High School presidents can overuse it as well! "Let's Roll."

-> I am CONTINUALLY reminded of the painfully awkward valedictorian farewell from "Say Anything." I'm going to need to rent it. (I could stand to see the 'Joe Lies" song again, too.)

-> I had a shout-out to OnlyAymie (but I don't remember why.) Still - consider yourself shouted.

-> SuperWow. Bri, my brother, has been growing to look more and more like me over the years. We have the same sqeauky lady voices, the same bald spot (Thanks mom!) and even similar builds. But I think that this last has really taken the case. As a fit of overachievement, he decided to get a sympathetic case of poison ivy. Wha whaaa? Same arm (right,) same hand (left) - and he even got it the same weekend as me.

-> Richard Andrew Young - Got by FAR the biggest applause in the evening, simply by virtue of being the last person called. This is probably the first and last time that his last name has served him well. UPDATE - As he walked across the stage, he glowed in the applause, and shook his arms in the air triumphantly (sorta like a WWF wrestler holding his prize belt.) The crowd ate it up. And the principal (Miss BlahBlah?) Apparently will be holding his diploma for a week, as punishment. Puh-leeze. What a ho. I think I'll call her 'Miss BlahBlahHo' from now on as MY causeless punishment.


So what have I been doing in Southern Illinois? I'll tell you later. If you care.

Quick update on how sad my life is:

Today someone brought in a 24 pack of Ramen (www.ramen.com) to work, and left it on the breakroom counter. My first thought when I saw it: "Yay! Now I don't have to pay the whole $0.18 for lunch - someone has done it for me!"

Interestingly, that's not the sad part.

Nope. Turns out that *5* different people came by, and asked me if I was the one who brought it in. Sad, sad, sad to be known by the WHOLE OFFICE as that 'guy who likes Ramen enough to buy it in cases.'

(Maybe if it had been "Oriental" flavor, instead of the omnipresent "Chicken") {grin}

PS - Coworker used 'synergistic' in a non-ironic way today. I thougt that just happened in 'Dilbert' or 'The Office'.

Just wanted to mitch and boan about the Georgia DOT, work practices of. Good lord'a mercy.

Yesterday, driving North on GA 400, there was construction. At 5 PM on a Saturday. Fine, whatever. I guess that's OK. Hmm. Sign saying that they are going to close a left lane. OK, move to the right. {EERRRRT} Wait - i'm completely stopped. Wait again - that wasn't one left lane, that was THREE left lanes closed. Hmm. Count lanes. One, two, thuh-ree. There are three lanes. And GDOT is closing the three left lanes.

I suppose it could have been worse - they could have closed *four* of the three lanes. SOB's.

Slashdot | Researchers Pinpoint Brain's Sarcasm Sensor: "from the oh-i'm-sure-that-was-real-hard dept.
LibertarianWackJob writes 'Researchers have found the section of the human brain that is responsible for understanding sarcasm. ' I'm sure the comments on this story will be incredibly insightful. "

(thanks slashdot- you made me laugh. really. i'm not being scastic, i was *born* this way)

heh heh Link to: An Open Letter from RIAA President Hillary Rosen to Music Pirates Everywhere: "Tight, centralized control of ideas and art has never been attempted before in human history, but from where I stand it is long overdue. Consumers have grown fat with their greed, sitting on piles of money that rightfully belong to the recording industry. It's time to redistribute the wealth. The revolution is nigh.


Hillary Rosen
President, Recording Industry Association of America"

and THIS comic is for my D&D crew - Coup de Grace the Frost Giants!

Ctrl+Alt+Del - Tragically l337

Comic that made me think of the other night. Ctrl+Alt+Del - Tragically l337

Current Event link: Poor Rick Santorum, stuck in a world where Harry Reid invades his precious filibuster. (one of the comments at the bottom is priceless.) A Tiny Revolution: The Greatest Historical Analogy Of All Time

Scared Sean with Suspiciously Short SMurph
Posted by Hello

IMPORTANT NOTE AT BOTTOM - NO SPOILERS.
OK, Im a geek. (you knew that already; hell, i have a blog.) Like many (who are geeks,) I succumbed to the power of the Dark Side and went to the 12:01 showing of Star Wars, Episode III. Ok, like SOME who are geeks. The theatre nearby had 6 theatres showing itand I went with some of my D&D friends.

There were many various people there: the sterotypical fat male geek, families who were there with their (teenage) children, high school kids, normal looking people like me. {grin} Although I had the best Hawaiian shirt.
And then there were the dresser-ups. Many had lightsabers, or Padawan outfits; there was one buff fellow in a skin tight Lycra Star Fleet shirt (Riker era). That was confusing. There was a Batman, a teen in a FULL Spiderman outfit (80's Electric Company Spiderman, not Venom.) Most confusingly, there was a guy with a skull mask and cowboy hat. I mean, WTF? It was too hot for me to wear my cape, but I wouild have fit in tremendously.

Why such varied costumes? My only theory is that this was the chance for all the world to revel in it's non-conformity, which to some people means role-play. So it was an enjoyable experience.

HOWEVER - and this is VITALLY important for any of you planning on seeeing the movie. (NO SPOILERS)
Lower Lower Lower Lower Lower Lower Lower - your expectations.
Remember Remember Remember Remember Remember - Episodes I & II.

Only *then* will you fully enjoy this film.

Okay - this is a reminder to Sean o'the Future (FUTURE, Future, future......)

You, sir, are a great person. You have a lot going for you; good job, taller, third Porshe. (hey, it's the future.) But no matter how old and successful you get, you are *not* stronger than poison ivy.

The sad thing is: Ogre told me - wear a long sleeved shirt. And I very carefully ignored him. So now I am Itchy McScratcherson.

"Poison Ivy - It's No Just For Breakfast Anymore!"

EverBabe - You turned on A. to the wonder of earplugs years ago. I believe she's still using them. My brother Brian was the first person I saw use them, swimming in the pool (he had tubes.) But you were the first noise preventor, using them in that small apt - all thanks to LoudBobbi.

This might article may lead you to change your brand. The Sound of Silence - Sussing out the ear-plug market. By Ulrich?Boser

In the interest of equal time, I would like to point you at EverBabe's & SuperMark's houze. This house is MUCH less in the middle of nowhere, and would make a great house, as long as you never had to cross Spaghetti Junction. They've spent a bunch of $$$ replacing the roof and painting inside and out, so it's in great condition. Thought about buying it, but then realized it was out of my price range. Maybe next time. {grin} Link to Former Casa de Sean's Partayz

Dug's house - on the market. If you don't mind being in the middle of nowhere, it's a great house. Not really lived in, and in great shape. Still, though - middle of nowhere.
Link to Dug's house.

I'm revisiting SWMM once more. I haven't stayed late to work on a modeling project for many a year now (since I started at BC, to tell the truth.)

SWMM runs much faster now, though. It used to take 10-15 minutes for each run. (much more time for cursing at the model instabilities)

Ani DiFranco. Birmingham. It makes me a little teary every time I hear it. And I am not ashamed to say it. The song ties together the assassination of a abortion doctor, elections in Buffalo, and a remembered trip to the abortion clinic. Powerful imagery. the most moving lyric for me?

"a bullet came to visit a doctor
in his one safe place

a bullet ensuring the right to life
whizzed past his kid and his wife
and knocked his glasses right off of his face"

wowza.

In other news, my MOM(!?!??!) has created a blog. (in her defense, i suggested it. in MY defense - it was to prevent her from buying a domain name. She wouldn't know what to do with one, and heck - blogs are free, and domain name = my inheritance!) Sparse right now, but might end up freakin' me out as I read about Mom's romantic exploits. Visit at your own peril: Blogger: User Profile: mizanne

Wow. I mean, wow.

I'll update (later, after work) with a stirring story from my life that was nearly the same circumstances. Only Robert & I were (a) foolish enough to not even have a sail in the boat we used, but (b) smart enough to take off on the BACK side of Sullivan's Island.

Link to pretty lucky kids. Two teens rescued after 6 days adrift - U.S. News - MSNBC.com

While continuing to unpack at the house, I have discovered something from my misspent youth: my milk jug full of aluminium can pull tabs. You know how you can sell those things for a lot of money, right? (I think McDonalds will give you $75 for them.) Or you can save them up, for the children. Here's a link telling you how to redeem them. ...Or maybe not.

Sigh. Well, at least at the end of the day, I have a milkjug of Aluminum pull-tabs.