Thursday, August 13, 2015

Fi has started kindergarten this week, leading to 3 days of dropping her off at the bus. I'm sure that will get old sometime, but it's still fun to walk her to her stop. (Lachlan hasn't been in LOVE with his sister getting to do something he can't, but for whatever reason the driver wouldn't take him too. Even though I offered her $0.50 in dimes.)

He's been pretty adorkable himself recently, tho. Putting him to bed the past few nights I've been telling him a story. The first night as he was crying for Mommy, I went ahead and told him all the things that Mommy was doing (walking through the woods, going up Up UP a hill, going down Down DOWN a hill, crossing a stream.... you know, the basics.) That worked pretty well -> he passed out 2 minutes into this riveting tale. Last night, however, things went a little differently:

Me, thinking there was some way I could stretch my storytelling muscles: "Once upon a time, there was a pirate captain named Lachlan, and he was on a boat, sailing across the water."
L: "No no no, MOMMY was mumble mumble!"
Me, incredulously: "MOMMY was sailing?"
L: "YEAH!"
Me, resignedly: "OK, MOMMY was sailing, and she landed on a beach. She walked through the woods, and saw a bear. She said 'Hello, Bear!'"
L: "No no no, she mumble mumble MOMMY!"
Me, to confirm: "She said 'Hello MOMMY?'"
L: "YEAH!"
Me, dryly: "....Mommy said hello mommy."
L: "YEAH!"
Me, fingers crossed: "OK. Mommy said Hello mommy. Then Mommy saw a rabbit."
L: "No no no, she mumble mumble a MOMMY!"
Me: "..... Mommy saw a MOMMY?"
L: "YEAH!"
Me. seeing the logical ending to this pattern: "OK. Mommy saw mommy walking through the woods."
L: "No no no! Mommy mumble through the mommy!"
Me: "..... Mommy walked through the mommy?
L: "YEA-No no NO! Mumble mumble mommy!"
Me, willing to compromise my artistic vision: "..... Mommy mommy through the mommy."
L: "YEAH!"
Me, ready for bed myself at this point: "..... Mommy mommy through the mommy." 

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Two senior moments and a fun math coincidence

Derp the First: The first day of the most recent snowstorm, LN came to me after a walk and told me that her phone had stopped working. She didn't remember dropping it, but the screen was a lot more cracked than it should have been. It also seemed as though it had reset itself, with the last calls recorded made back in May. No calls or texts would go out or come in, and it wouldn't even connect to the Wifi. It was a dead parrot. I spent a fair amount of (unsuccessful) time on the phone with tech support, and eventually even they threw their hands in their air in surrender. I found it strange that the 16 gig micro-SD had disappeared, but assumed it had fallen out when the phone was (obviously) dropped. They volunteered to send a replacement phone, as long as we sent back the other (non-functional) phone.  So we waited for that to arrive in the snow-slowed mail. At least, we did until I went into the garage, and discovered that the phone we were trying to make work was her OLD phone, which we had replaced in, say -> May of last year? LN's main comment: "Ah - that's why it looked so familiar." My thought: "I *knew* that she had a Samsung, and that the LG was weird."

Item the second. Took Fi down to Galloway to meet with potential preschool teachers Saturday AM. Our plans to go get lunch with a friend of LN were derailed when LN's keys went missing. Kids were already in the carseat, so we left them there with snacks as we emptied her car. We spent about 45 minutes looking for them at the school, then drove home and back to get the spares (one of which will be in the other car from now on, believe you me.) Got back, spent another 15 fruitless minutes looking for them, then headed home. I even lifted the carseat out, on the off chance that the baby carrier had eaten them. Turns out I should have lifted the BABY out -> apparently Baby Brother spent about 2 hours keeping Mommy's keys warm with his butt. Good news -> we found them. Bad news: covered in Cheerios and masticated Veggie straws.

Lighter note: Got a digital scale to find out how much weight I'm not losing. Nice thing is it allows me to figure out how big the kids are. So Lach is 22 pounds, and Fi is 33. That's 55 pounds of kids we're responsible for. Whoa. (i know that gets LN right in her Eleven-loving heart.)

Monday, September 09, 2013

Three kid vignettes

Story the first: six year old asks his mom "how many zeros in onefinity?" I answered "just start writing them... I'll tell you when to stop."
Sean: "Nope, not there yet."

Story the second: while putting Fi to bed, she told her mom a story.
"Once upon a time,
there was a monster."
"But he was a friend."

Story the third: putting Fi down again, lights out. As LN tries to sneak out, Fi gently cups her mom's face in her hands, bringing Mommy's face closer. Fiona then whispered "I want you to be safe," as she stuck her pinky fingers into Ellen's ears. Apparently she didn't shriek, but it was a close call.

"Still not there; keep adding zeros"

Felt a little like Law & Order: Laundry Mountain

Just a normal day, folding the past month's worth of clean laundry.
 Sorting through socks, when wait -> what's that?
 Could that be....

Yup -> someone dumped a dead baby doll where it would never be seen again.

Guess they thought it would be...humerus


Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Old medical switcheroo

We ended up getting baby Lachlan home on New Year's Eve, and had his first regular checkup 2 days later. I remembered the first few rounds of Fi's doctor's visits, with vaccinations and occasion bloodwork, and felt a little bad for him. I mean, he's right out of the womb, and has all those shots? Unfair!
Apparently the doctors agreed with me, as the standards don't have any shots til about the 2-3 month point. I was happy for the little guy, until they looked closer at *my* history, and determined I needed a pertussis booster. Will recommend the pediatric nurses for shots, tho -> didn't even feel it go in.
TL:DR Took my newborn to the doctor, and ended up being the one getting a shot.

Sunday, January 06, 2013

So - I found another kid before the end of the year...

Which is fun. As of noon one week ago Friday, I am the parent of 2 beautiful children (or one beautiful kid and one squawking monkey-sheep baby.) Some quick notes about our hospital stay welcoming Lachlan Keith Kilpatrick into the world.

Apparently Isabella is 'the' in name for girls this year, as evidenced from my informal survey of the baby name placards in the hall next to our room. (two out of three were named that.

I would like to make it clear to the world, or that subset of the world that can use Google, at least, that LN's *Uncle* Keith was the baby's namesake (that, and all of the Keith's on that side of the family.) (Sorry, other Keiths who may or may not include her little brother.) This is the uncle, by the by, who bought her a plane ticket to his daughter's wedding, allowing us to "re-meet" cute in New Orleans. And, therefore, bearing a full share of responsibility for this baby boy.

She's started stomping. It's really cute at this age, as she lifts her right calf parallel to the ground, before stamping it down. However, we are trying the 'zero-tolerance' route; please don't laugh, as tempted as you will be. Mom, Jody, and LN; I am talking to YOU. Also to myself.  This is a note to remind me that it didn't really start with the baby in the house, but a week or two earlier.

finally, we've been blessed to have family come to help while LN was on bed rest... My mom was really helpful in helping Fi get ready to have a baby brother. when fi walked into the hospital, she was looking for her friend, Lachlan.

Thursday, March 08, 2012


Guess it's time - (finally) - to bite the bullet, and get link'd to my wife.

altho - i am a little curious how she ended up a 3rd tier person? We obviously don't work in the same industry, so what Kevin Bacon shenanigans got us that close?

Monday, October 17, 2011

My (first?) less-than-stellar parenting moment

So yesterday Fiona, LN, and I went to one of the parks down by the river. We've been before, but if you HAVE to go outside, it' s hard to beat a beautiful fall day with temps in the 70's. Fiona enjoyed running around, swinging, and, most especially, the slides.

Now, if you don't have kids under 10, you may not have been hanging around kid's playgrounds recently (I hope,) but there have apparently been some major advances in playground technology. After the lawsuit happy 90's, it appears that public spaces have started having huge playground jungle gym'y sorta things, with swings and slides and monkey bars, etc, all built in. While there remain the swings with long enough chains to play 'swing war,' toddler swings have improved: there is the equivalent of a bucket with 4 holes in it (one for each leg?) that you drop the child into. This minimizes the chance of the buckle on the front coming off, and the kid flying off. Advantage: Swing 2000.

Slides in *my* day were long, straight, and metal: think a Papa John's prep table at a 45-degree angle. You generally would climb up to the top of a steep, 10' tall ladder, always keeping 3 points connected to the metal grate The stainless steel provided a smooth sailing for any cloth-covered piece of your body, with one caveat. Any day with direct sunlight allowed the slide to reach a balmy 211 degrees F: almost hot enough to boil water, but easily more than enough to scald your inner thigh. Slides today seem to be both curvy (especially nice for the toddler set, allowing Dad an extra chance or two to catch them on the way down) and HDPE. They still get warm, but not 'fry an egg' hot.

Long story short - Fi loved the slides. I mean LOVED THEM loved them. We tried to make her the responsible one for climbing back up . It seemed that making her do the hard work of gaining all of that potential energy would make the transfer into kinetic that much more rewarding. She did a bunch of that (approx 1.2 kW (kidowatts,)) then got back to her secondary job of moving mulch from one side of the park another.

At this point, Fi was wandering around without really paying attention where she was going. I guess it was about time for her to learn to watch where she was going, so, too late, I saw her walking in FRONT of the bottom of a big-kids slide. Her mom and I both saw what was happening a little too late; Ellen's first thought was apparently "oh no - i don't want that kid who is going to run into my daughter to feel too guilty." And mine was "it's going to happen, but i don't want to watch. I'll just do what i normally do in this situation - close my eyes *&* look away. "

And I did.

Postscript - Fi is alive, but didn't learn anything. Maybe life lessons that feature short-term memory loss aren't the way to go?

bought fee a spires

OK - just got a txt from Mom (stuck at the airport in Cali b/c she missed her flight - but that's another story.) In this text she said (and I quote) "Bought fee a spires."
After much thinkin, i have decided that she was an unsuspecting victim of Autocorrect.

For now, I'm running with the theory that fee = Fi, and she just couldn't get Autocorrect to leave well enough alone. Any idea what she was trying to let me know she got her youngest grandaughter?

Filed under: Things I wish I knew *before* I emptied my freezer at midnight:

Apparently ice makers are not permanent features, and can be removed to defrost.

On the other hand, it was probably almost time to throw away that 6-year-old unopened whipped topping.