Thursday, June 01, 2017

Two stories about four-year-old Lachlan, focusing on nightmares and boogers.

1) He has a favorite pillow, a normal queen-sized one. Well, favorite pillowCASE; he asks for his 'blue pillow' a lot, and it doesn't matter which pillow is inside. (pillow) And to be honest, I don't know that *he* knows that we have more than one blue pillowcase - changing the pillowcase also doesn't seem to matter. Either way, Pillowy has turned into one of his best friends. At least until the other morning. He woke up calling "Dah-deeeeee" in his best plaintive tone. When i went to check on him, he let me know that he had had a bad dream. In it, Pillowy had grown legs and chased him down the hall.  No permanent damage there - he still wanted to take it with him everywhere.

2) He is a kid, and therefore is very familiar with the taste of his boogs. I try to gently steer him away from eating them, but only have about a 20% success rate. C'est la vie, amirite? However, he recently came up to me with a concerned look.
"Daddy, you know how boogs taste good?"
"Well, EAR boogs are YUCKY."

"Neither do TOE boogs.  Like THIS." (and proceeded to clean out some of the funk from between his toes.)
"Well, buddy... maybe you shouldn't eat them?"
"That's a good idea, Daddy."

I've since learned that Eye boogs taste ok, salty and crunchy.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

On the ease of getting registered to vote in Georgia

Georgia has been hit with a federal lawsuit alleging that their modified voter registration system is very picky, and impacts minorities more than white people. (if your data doesn't exactly match what is already in several government databases, it automatically gets denied.)  Have you EVER seen a government database??

From the article:
"For multiple reasons the records may not exactly match, including many that aren't the fault of the potential voter, the lawsuit says. Data entry errors, typos or misread handwriting can cause mismatches. Hyphenated and maiden names or initials, as well as transposed digits in a driver's license or Social Security number, can also cause problems."

I saw the article, and made the rookie mistake of reading the comment section. I saw one comment that said: "Hey, I registered with my driver's license, easy peasy." I wanted to document my response here, just in case any others out there feel like it's just too darn easy to register to vote.

"Not every potential voter in the state has a Georgia Driver's License. There are 5 million registered voters (out of 7.5 million potential voters.) Georgia has 6.6 million issued licenses, meaning over a million folks don't have one.  That's up to 40% of the unregistered voters.

Source here

(I admit I was surprised to see that there were over 60% of all Georgians with driver's licenses... but I shouldn't have been, after sitting in Atlanta traffic.) "

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Fi has started kindergarten this week, leading to 3 days of dropping her off at the bus. I'm sure that will get old sometime, but it's still fun to walk her to her stop. (Lachlan hasn't been in LOVE with his sister getting to do something he can't, but for whatever reason the driver wouldn't take him too. Even though I offered her $0.50 in dimes.)

He's been pretty adorkable himself recently, tho. Putting him to bed the past few nights I've been telling him a story. The first night as he was crying for Mommy, I went ahead and told him all the things that Mommy was doing (walking through the woods, going up Up UP a hill, going down Down DOWN a hill, crossing a stream.... you know, the basics.) That worked pretty well -> he passed out 2 minutes into this riveting tale. Last night, however, things went a little differently:

Me, thinking there was some way I could stretch my storytelling muscles: "Once upon a time, there was a pirate captain named Lachlan, and he was on a boat, sailing across the water."
L: "No no no, MOMMY was mumble mumble!"
Me, incredulously: "MOMMY was sailing?"
L: "YEAH!"
Me, resignedly: "OK, MOMMY was sailing, and she landed on a beach. She walked through the woods, and saw a bear. She said 'Hello, Bear!'"
L: "No no no, she mumble mumble MOMMY!"
Me, to confirm: "She said 'Hello MOMMY?'"
L: "YEAH!"
Me, dryly: "....Mommy said hello mommy."
L: "YEAH!"
Me, fingers crossed: "OK. Mommy said Hello mommy. Then Mommy saw a rabbit."
L: "No no no, she mumble mumble a MOMMY!"
Me: "..... Mommy saw a MOMMY?"
L: "YEAH!"
Me. seeing the logical ending to this pattern: "OK. Mommy saw mommy walking through the woods."
L: "No no no! Mommy mumble through the mommy!"
Me: "..... Mommy walked through the mommy?
L: "YEA-No no NO! Mumble mumble mommy!"
Me, willing to compromise my artistic vision: "..... Mommy mommy through the mommy."
L: "YEAH!"
Me, ready for bed myself at this point: "..... Mommy mommy through the mommy." 

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Two senior moments and a fun math coincidence

Derp the First: The first day of the most recent snowstorm, LN came to me after a walk and told me that her phone had stopped working. She didn't remember dropping it, but the screen was a lot more cracked than it should have been. It also seemed as though it had reset itself, with the last calls recorded made back in May. No calls or texts would go out or come in, and it wouldn't even connect to the Wifi. It was a dead parrot. I spent a fair amount of (unsuccessful) time on the phone with tech support, and eventually even they threw their hands in their air in surrender. I found it strange that the 16 gig micro-SD had disappeared, but assumed it had fallen out when the phone was (obviously) dropped. They volunteered to send a replacement phone, as long as we sent back the other (non-functional) phone.  So we waited for that to arrive in the snow-slowed mail. At least, we did until I went into the garage, and discovered that the phone we were trying to make work was her OLD phone, which we had replaced in, say -> May of last year? LN's main comment: "Ah - that's why it looked so familiar." My thought: "I *knew* that she had a Samsung, and that the LG was weird."

Item the second. Took Fi down to Galloway to meet with potential preschool teachers Saturday AM. Our plans to go get lunch with a friend of LN were derailed when LN's keys went missing. Kids were already in the carseat, so we left them there with snacks as we emptied her car. We spent about 45 minutes looking for them at the school, then drove home and back to get the spares (one of which will be in the other car from now on, believe you me.) Got back, spent another 15 fruitless minutes looking for them, then headed home. I even lifted the carseat out, on the off chance that the baby carrier had eaten them. Turns out I should have lifted the BABY out -> apparently Baby Brother spent about 2 hours keeping Mommy's keys warm with his butt. Good news -> we found them. Bad news: covered in Cheerios and masticated Veggie straws.

Lighter note: Got a digital scale to find out how much weight I'm not losing. Nice thing is it allows me to figure out how big the kids are. So Lach is 22 pounds, and Fi is 33. That's 55 pounds of kids we're responsible for. Whoa. (i know that gets LN right in her Eleven-loving heart.)

Monday, September 09, 2013

Three kid vignettes

Story the first: six year old asks his mom "how many zeros in onefinity?" I answered "just start writing them... I'll tell you when to stop."
Sean: "Nope, not there yet."

Story the second: while putting Fi to bed, she told her mom a story.
"Once upon a time,
there was a monster."
"But he was a friend."

Story the third: putting Fi down again, lights out. As LN tries to sneak out, Fi gently cups her mom's face in her hands, bringing Mommy's face closer. Fiona then whispered "I want you to be safe," as she stuck her pinky fingers into Ellen's ears. Apparently she didn't shriek, but it was a close call.

"Still not there; keep adding zeros"

Felt a little like Law & Order: Laundry Mountain

Just a normal day, folding the past month's worth of clean laundry.
 Sorting through socks, when wait -> what's that?
 Could that be....

Yup -> someone dumped a dead baby doll where it would never be seen again.

Guess they thought it would be...humerus


Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Old medical switcheroo

We ended up getting baby Lachlan home on New Year's Eve, and had his first regular checkup 2 days later. I remembered the first few rounds of Fi's doctor's visits, with vaccinations and occasion bloodwork, and felt a little bad for him. I mean, he's right out of the womb, and has all those shots? Unfair!
Apparently the doctors agreed with me, as the standards don't have any shots til about the 2-3 month point. I was happy for the little guy, until they looked closer at *my* history, and determined I needed a pertussis booster. Will recommend the pediatric nurses for shots, tho -> didn't even feel it go in.
TL:DR Took my newborn to the doctor, and ended up being the one getting a shot.

Sunday, January 06, 2013

So - I found another kid before the end of the year...

Which is fun. As of noon one week ago Friday, I am the parent of 2 beautiful children (or one beautiful kid and one squawking monkey-sheep baby.) Some quick notes about our hospital stay welcoming Lachlan Keith Kilpatrick into the world.

Apparently Isabella is 'the' in name for girls this year, as evidenced from my informal survey of the baby name placards in the hall next to our room. (two out of three were named that.

I would like to make it clear to the world, or that subset of the world that can use Google, at least, that LN's *Uncle* Keith was the baby's namesake (that, and all of the Keith's on that side of the family.) (Sorry, other Keiths who may or may not include her little brother.) This is the uncle, by the by, who bought her a plane ticket to his daughter's wedding, allowing us to "re-meet" cute in New Orleans. And, therefore, bearing a full share of responsibility for this baby boy.

She's started stomping. It's really cute at this age, as she lifts her right calf parallel to the ground, before stamping it down. However, we are trying the 'zero-tolerance' route; please don't laugh, as tempted as you will be. Mom, Jody, and LN; I am talking to YOU. Also to myself.  This is a note to remind me that it didn't really start with the baby in the house, but a week or two earlier.

finally, we've been blessed to have family come to help while LN was on bed rest... My mom was really helpful in helping Fi get ready to have a baby brother. when fi walked into the hospital, she was looking for her friend, Lachlan.