Friday, December 09, 2005

So: all in all, it's been an interesting week.

For today's blog, we'll talk about just a few of the lay-dee related incidents in my life, and then wrap up with the not one, not two, but three blunders from my first blind date. Skip ahead if you would like - I understand not everyone is interested in minutia from Sean's strange life. (Check that - If I really understood that, I probably wouldn't have a blog)

But moving on - It's been an interesting week, all things considered. Mom was in town, so she came over last weekend. It was great to have her there, and I even gave her a chore or two, which felt nice from a karmic standpoint. As we were flipping through my collection of DVD's, deciding what to watch, I discovered that she had never seen Say Anything. As that movie is sort of a seminal 80's movie, with some of the best scenes of teenage angst ever filmed, we decided to watch it. At about 15 minutes in, my cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID. Wha whaaaaa? TwoPairs was on the other line?!?

I don't think that I've related this story before. And I won't now. (thank blogger for eating my post!!!) Short form - One of (if not THE) first dates that I went on in high school was with a friend. For whatever reason, my family calls her TwoPairs now. Be that as it may, we hadn't spoken in 6 months to a year. (no bad blood - just missed connections.) A. also called, but Mom and I were watching a movie, dammit! Still - calls from first date, and ex-fiance - strange timing.

Then on Wednesday, I had my first blind date. I may have mentioned this whole thing about holidays being interesting to me for relationship based things. (I know I did - look it up, using Google's built in blog- searching capabilites.) {grin} But what I realized the day AFTER this date was that if I was willing to REALLY stretch on the definition of a holiday, it's still there. Because Wednesday was Pearl Harbor Day. Seriously. However, after my Veteran's Day of last year, I am seeing a disturbing militaristic trend; I'll aim for something less martial next time.

Back to the Three. Fatal. Errors. (TM)

1) Didn't pay for her meal.
Positive Spin: Um. Not really one.
Negative Spin: Cheap.
Reason I Didn't: Cafeteria type place. She jumped ahead of me. I'm new at this, and didn't want to appear paternalistic.
Remedy: Next time, let the goodies flow.

2) At end of date, didn't walk her to her car.
Positive Spin: Hey, we met online; he's not a stalker!
Negative Spin: Cheap *Jerk*, who doesn't care if I get mugged in the parking lot of Ikea.
Reason I didn't: Worried more about looking like a stalker.
Remedy: Next time, ask her if she minds if I walk her to her car, as my grandmother raised me that way.

3) At *end* of date - Sean-initiated handshake. Wha Whaa??
Positive Spin: Umm.. she saw my unnaturally flat fingernails?
Negative Spin: Oh. My. God. {shakes head}
Reason I didn't: I'm new at this? I am socially stunted? Against all previous evidence, I am shy? . . . I'm doomed.
Remedy: I've been advised of the existence of the 'half-hug-side-kiss,' of which I was previously unaware. That will prove helpful in the future.

No one warned me of these common pitfalls. Positive Spin: But even if I messed up with this date, I'll hopefully get the chance to make all new mistakes next time.

As evidence of synchronicity, however, a monster attacked a villager on the shore of Loch Ness. Er. No - that was Sting. What happened to ME was that I got a call from my high school prom date THE DAY AFTER the Three.Fatal.Errors.(TM) And we reminesced.
But that's another entry.


Curleygirl said...

Ok, so if it makes you feel better (though it’s been a WHILE)…this could potentially be what she was thinking...

1) Thank goodness he didn’t pay for this…was that the Monopoly $20 I used??
2) Thank goodness he didn’t walk me to my car…now he doesn’t see the Pinto I drove over here and that I have to climb through passenger's side to get in
3) Thank goodness he didn’t kiss me…does my breath smell like a litterbox from that espresso I ordered and the smoke I grabbed pre-date?

I wonder when he's going to call!

See? All good!

tfufu said...

Also, to make you feel better, numbers 1 and 2 are not necessary these days.

The shaking of hands may be somewhat akward, but depending on the situation, a hug may appear too forward.

In the end, if you two hit it off, the mistakes aren't going to matter.

Anonymous said...

That's OK, I had a woman ask me mid-conversation if I had sheets that matched the shirt (Mexican Wedding) that I was wearing. I answered "No, they don't sell them in sets."

Correct answer was "No, but I'll throw this on the bed for you."

Also, another pitfall to be wary of. Don't give females your phone number (naturally thinking that you won't appear as the stalker type asking for hers) - get her number. She'll never call back.