Wednesday, June 08, 2005

So: this is a transcript of my LiveBlog of T-man's High School Graduation. Play along at home to win!

I drove down to Charleston with Ogre & his wifey- turns out his nephew was also graduating, although no one knew that until the Saturday before graduation. (yay, English!) Got to Charleston about 30 minutes before the ceremony. It started out well enough, with the graduates all walking up the center of the aisle. Apparently, though, Thomas had a lot going on in his mind, cause he forgot that he was in Chorus, or at least that Chorus was singing the National Anthem. Miss Austin, my middle school Chorus teacher, was leading them. Wow. 20 years since I've seen her lead a singing group. {pause} She's still pretty good.

-> This current principal, less fired than mine, still had a lot of the blah blah blah.

-> Wando HS really seemed more rocking than when I was there. They had one of the Top 30 Literary Magazines, Top Student Newspaper in the US, and most members in All State Band, etc, etc.

-> The salutatorian speech sux0r3d. "Thanks for Everything, guys!" However, only speech to quote both Ecclisiates and "Yedi Master Yoda."

-> This was the first graduating class for the new building that Wando HS is in. They donated a picture of the (probably politically incorrect) Wando Warrior profile made up of their individual photos.

-> Rob Black. Who was he? Why did everybody keep quoting his Autobiography? Who killed him? What did he know, and when did he know it? Is it secret? Is it safe?

-> One of the graduating seniors had a better beard than my other brother did upon graduating COLLEGE. Heh.

-> Principal mentioned that there was a wonderful Latin band. Tuba, Tubar, Tubarum.

-> Long straight hair is apparently in for High School Senior girls. Ragamuffin hair for guys, with a couple of Citadel military cuts. Also open-toed high-heeled shoes.

-> Introduced as SC's next governor later in the evening, Joe S. couldn't figure out how to work the microphone. For like 2 full minutes. Probably seemed longer to him.

-> The valedictorian had a better Star Wars joke than the salutatorian. Perhaps the fact that she had four names gave her the edge not just in the classroom, but with the joke as well. Also: she said that word "chromosomes" like cah-ROH-mah-sohms. Only funny because she's getting a molecular biology degree from UT Texas.

-> Quick question: US Government (upon reflection, probably one of the more important classes out there- fail to understand the basic priciples of math, and you might get fleeced at the checkout counter; do the same with government and you end up in jail or convicted for treason.) So, why does it almost INVARIABLY get taught by frickin' COACHES? It would almost seem to be one of Bri's "Old White Men" consipracies.

-> September 11th: Now not just for US presidents to overuse, but High School presidents can overuse it as well! "Let's Roll."

-> I am CONTINUALLY reminded of the painfully awkward valedictorian farewell from "Say Anything." I'm going to need to rent it. (I could stand to see the 'Joe Lies" song again, too.)

-> I had a shout-out to OnlyAymie (but I don't remember why.) Still - consider yourself shouted.

-> SuperWow. Bri, my brother, has been growing to look more and more like me over the years. We have the same sqeauky lady voices, the same bald spot (Thanks mom!) and even similar builds. But I think that this last has really taken the case. As a fit of overachievement, he decided to get a sympathetic case of poison ivy. Wha whaaa? Same arm (right,) same hand (left) - and he even got it the same weekend as me.

-> Richard Andrew Young - Got by FAR the biggest applause in the evening, simply by virtue of being the last person called. This is probably the first and last time that his last name has served him well. UPDATE - As he walked across the stage, he glowed in the applause, and shook his arms in the air triumphantly (sorta like a WWF wrestler holding his prize belt.) The crowd ate it up. And the principal (Miss BlahBlah?) Apparently will be holding his diploma for a week, as punishment. Puh-leeze. What a ho. I think I'll call her 'Miss BlahBlahHo' from now on as MY causeless punishment.

So what have I been doing in Southern Illinois? I'll tell you later. If you care.

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