"I work in a store that sells 'Elf on the Shelf'. There is an accompanying video, which has a song: "Elf on the Shelf is watching you, what you say and what you do. Elf on the Shelf is judging you, each and every Christmas."
"I have never even idly thought for a single passing second that it might make my life nicer to have a small, rude, incontinent person follow me around screaming and making me buy them stuff for the rest of my life. [Note to friends with children: I am referring to other people’s children, not to yours.]"
2/8/09
OK – here’s a picture of my day.
Um. Here's a VERBAL picture of my day.Started off a little slowly. Sandy had asked me to give her a call when I got moving in the AM, and I did. Was pleasantly surprised to wake up, sans alarm, at 6:58 AM. Yay, for getting rid of jet lag. I asked her if she wanted to do the breakfast buffet at the hotel (I have a deal for 16 bucks, which I think that I will take advantage of. At some point.) But she said, no, lunch at a local hang-out, which sounded like exactly what I was hoping for. That meant no breakfast for me – so it was back to the ABC. (of which there are at least 20 in my neck of the woods.) So, for breakfast, I ended up having something deLICIOUS. OK, not really THAT delicious. But the fresh pineapple and spam musabi. They DO love their spam. See photo documtation below:
Spoiler alert - we didn't see her again.(ASIDE) OK – weird video on the telly. It’s a Dave Matthews video, where a brunette Julia Roberts with dreds is getting chased by a faceless guy. And Dave is creepily watching her. And many black guys are helpful to her, including at least one without a shirt making her breakfast. That seems very unsanitary. Especially if he is cooking bacon. OUCHOUCHOUCH
(UN-ASIDE) Went down to the hot tub about eight thirty. There were a bunch of couples there, two middle aged couples from Montana, three army looking kids (ok, maybe they were early 20’s) with Japanese girlfriends, and one older middle-age drunk guy. When the Japanese girls got back, the drunk guy completely tried to hit on them. And I am really surprised that the guys didn’t just kick his ass. But they eventually left, and, after telling us all how lucky we were, he left. And then went down to the pool. And stripped out of his suit. In front of the four middle school cheerleaders in the pool. Stay classy, drunky-drunk – stay classy.
There was a navy lady in town for a Conference, as well; conference topic was updating naval procedures. Or something. She seemed nice, and was from Virginia Beach – we’ll see if we see her again.
Very tired now – see ya in the AM
Stardate Feb 7, 1:13 PM, OK – the inflight magazine lied. We were supposed to see – (brief pause while I figure out exactly what we were supposed to see.) As it turns it out, I figured out in that brief intermission that *I* was wrong. They started out with a Tyler Perry movie – first time that I have seen one of those. The Family That Preys Together. Mildly interesting – I have seen better – it was not necessarily as good as the same story would have been on an afterschool special. For grownups. Teaching you not to chat on your loved ones, even if you are rich. Otherwise you will get beat down, unless you are Madea. Wait - wrong movie.
Had jambalaya for lunch-fest. It was tasty. Suprisingly(?) so. Wall-E is on right now. More difficuly to see because one guy on the left side of the plane has his window down so he can read his paper. Hop hop hooray. Outside Albequrque, but don’t see Bugs Bunny at all.
The audio at my chair is mono, too. So that is awesome. On the other hand, I am borrowing Mom’s noise-canceling headphones, so THAT is awesome too. (one of those may have been sarcastic - not sure which, tho) (but that might have been sarcastic too... very confusing.) (OR IS IT) (nope) ((ANYWAY) They work pretty well at getting rid of most of the ambient aircraft noise. I will have to see how they work with sound coming into both earphones, just not on this flight.
OK – time to do a little bit of work. Probably. Talk at you in a minute.
Or two. Watched Wall-E. Still a good movie. Harder to just listen to while working, of course. Some of the funniest silent movie moments I have seen. 3 PM now. Can’t really see out of the window, and the screen isn’t showing us where we are. Must be because we are over the water.
OK – I ask (secretly) and I shall receive. We’re right between San Francisco and San Jose. (which, swear to god, I spelled Hose the first time.) Wish I could say hi to Red – wait, I can. It’s just time-shifted a little. I’m only 10 miles away from you now, Red- unless you are on vacation somewhere.Anyhoo. We’re almost halfway.
4:25 hours in, and 4:50 to go. Or something. Hmm.. not sure how this works, but
we have a tailwind now. 33 MPH. I thought the winds went the other way?
Anyhoo. I am going to take one more lttle break. We’re hitting some turbulence, and I want to use the rest of this batteries life on more important stuff, like work. (J’skiddin, Pipsquirt- want to save some battery life for later. Not sure why.)
OK – 5 PM. Just saw Ghost Town, with Ricky Gervais. His humor (or humour, I suppose) remains one of my favorites. His acting, however, sometimes is over the top. This was a good movie – at least 5 times better than the Tyler Perry movie. That was likely because of Tea Leone, tho. Never understood why she ended up with Mulder; I agree with what MNO said, he was always a little too mush-mouthy for me. I’ll have to go ahead and list her as one of my favorites. Who else is on that list, you ask? (or rather, I pretend that you ask?)Well, Jennifer Anniston has to remain on that list, where’s she’s been since at least the first season of Friends. Jenna Finch (Pam from the American version of “The Office” has turned out to be a remarkably sympathetic character, but I don’t think that has pushed her into my top five. I know that will be a huge disappointment for her.
We’ve got at least three more hours, and are 1060 miles away from San Fran. I wonder if we get another round of food. Apparently six point five hours since we left, and now we have a little less than three remaining. Teeny screen tells me we have a
headwind of 55 mph (now THIS is what I was expecting on the way TO Hawaii.)
Getting to hear some Death Cab for Cutie on Delta Radio Channel 12 -> I think that I like them. Might have to leap up if one of my bookends were to get up à if that happens I will let you know later. I feel like I want to get up, but I don’t want to irritate them more than necessary. (I wouldn’t be surprised if the young lady who has been asleep the whole time takes this opportunity. BRB
• Who made up the rule that if you wore a shirt all day, went home, and washed it, you can't wear it the next day?and
• I have been accused of assault in Ohio. The woman fell over a box in the hall backward, and my brother opened the door, saw her lying there, and started hitting me. I got him down and held him down. It was all over a fight concerning my niece. What do you think will happen?
You could send them away to a company that does the scanning, but that’s incredibly expensive; most charge 50 cents or even $1 a photo.
You’d be forgiven, then, for raising an eyebrow at the offer made by a California company called ScanMyPhotos.com. It says it will professionally scan 1,000 photos for you, the same day it receives them, and put them on a DVD for $50.
So what’s the catch?
Actually, no catch, but lots of fine print.
8. Darren QX [pronounced 'Lloyd'] Bean!. No problem!, holds our friend the California Court of Appeal in 2006. [Darren Lloyd Bean v. Superior Court, 2006 WL [pronounced 'Westlaw'] 3425000 (Cal. App.).] Bean!, who recently sat for the Oregon State Bar, reported that, "Many of his close friends greet him as 'Bean!' When saying his name, friends raise the pitch and the volume of their voices above their usual spoken tone."
"The belly button is traditionally believed to be located in the middle of the body and the most important part. Our town, Shibukawa, is also called the belly button of Japan, and that is how this festival began," said festival organizer Kazuo Yamada.
That unsettled feeling is just as familiar to Stephanie Veronica, 24, a Chicago cocktail waitress."I don't trust banks," Veronica said, so she cashed her $300 check and promptly stored the money in an old-fashioned steel safe next to her bed.
...... Veronica said. "I went to my bank and kept $500 in there. But the rest, the cash, I keep at home."
Let America Be America Again
by Langston Hughes
Let America be America again.
Let it be the dream it used to be.
Let it be the pioneer on the plain
Seeking a home where he himself is free.
(America never was America to me.)
– “How Good Are Experienced Presidents?”
Recently I discovered I am a talented lyricist. This came as a big surprise to me.
It all came together when I realized most songs I enjoy are gibberish. I can TOTALLY write gibberish!
For decades I believed my favorite songs revolved around deep thoughts artistically embedded in metaphors and allusions. It turns out they were gibberish.
My first hint came after reading an interview with Paul McCartney. He admitted that most, if not all, Beatles songs were random words and thoughts strung together. I refused to believe it. So I checked online and read some of the Beatles songs. Holy crap! Gibberish!
“She had runaway eyes and marshmallow kittens.My contribution is below - i feel like it scans OK, and meets the gibberish requirement. Tell me what you, the reader (listener?) think?
My heart heard a dream like ten thousand gay mittens.”
The comments to his posts are always worth it at least 10% of the time, and this was no exception - For i found this song. (FYI - it is really called "Title Of The Song." )When first I saw her vast labrynthine beauty -
I could not believe it - she looked like Doug Flutie!
Best part for me - I have a bunch of co-workers who live near there, and I have tried to get them to buy into the whole 'pizza/country cookin' concept, and they just haven't. But it is still really good!Azoni's is a little family run all-you-can-eat pizza and southern food place just down the street. Its closeness and cheapness and family-friendliness bring us there time and time again. Knowing Sean and his love of the AYCE places, we often go there when he comes to visit. Because Mark works late a lot, sometimes it's just me and the kids with Sean.
Because it's family run, we've gotten to know the staff there. Really nice people! However, it's evident how strange we must seem. Me and Mark and the kids, Me and Sean and the kids. . . .as Mark said one day as we were walking in "Which husband is she going to bring today?"
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"Brown believes many men will see “their pill” as a good idea and will want to use it.“It is time for men to have some control. I think it would empower men and deter some women out there from their nefarious plans,” says Brown. “Some women are out there to use men to get pregnant. This could deter women from doing this. An athlete or a singer is someone who could be a target and they could put a stop to that.”
“An injectible or an implant (similar to Norplant for women) will be the first to be approved. The big studies are now under way,” says Dr. Christina Wang, who is heading up the clinical trials of MHCs at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center.
So she (your mom) tried to log onto your computer, but it is password protected. She asked me if I knew the password. I said I did not. Then she asked me why anyone would password protect a computer at their own home. I said probably to keep their mom off of it.
I believe we have the power to create our own happiness. I believe the real magic in the world is done by humans. I believe normal life is extraordinary.EverBabe - made me think of you (at the Hut) and me (at the Papa.)
....Now, maybe that's easy for me to say. I feel lucky to have fans around the world, a house with a roof and a wife who puts up with me. But I felt this way even when I was working at Long John Silver's. I worked there for 11 years as a fry cook. When you work at a place that long, you see teenagers coming in on their first dates; then they're married; then they're bringing in their kids. You witness whole sections of people's lives.
In the beginning, it seemed like a dead end job. But at least I had a job. And frankly, it was easy. After two weeks, I knew all I needed to know, and it freed my mind. The job allowed me to dream about what my life could become.
Can you spot what it is? I'll give you 2 hints:
How clean is bar soap in a public bathroom? Is it "self-cleaning," since it's soap? It seems like a health hazard to me.Makes sense, right? I mean, sure, it's magic. But *good* magic. However, this next part freaked me out a little.
It's dirty, but that doesn't make it a health hazard. Soap can indeed become contaminated with microorganisms, whether it's in liquid or bar form. According to a series of tests conducted in the early 1980s, bars of soap are often covered with bacteria and carry a higher load than you'd find inside a liquid dispenser. But no one knows for sure whether this dirty soap will actually transfer its germs to your hands during a wash.
Even under the best conditions, washing your hands can actually increase the number of microorganisms present on your hands, thanks to contaminated surfaces near the sink, splashes of contaminated water, or improperly dried hands. (In general, it's safer to leave your hands unwashed than to leave them wet.)I would sometimes rather go out with wet hands than touch the other, nasty-ass towels. I might have to do some research on this, get back with you.
Author Daniel Handler (better known as Lemony Snicket) plays accordion in A Tragic Treasury. The album features such dirges as "Scream and Run Away," "This Abyss" and "Smile, No One Cares How You Feel."There's a link to the NPR show at the top, highly recommended. Best quote? "Run...run run run run run run. Or die. Die die die die die die."Thanks to Neil Gaiman for the heads up.
| Link: The When Will FOX Cancel You? Test written by hashtable on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.
All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.
The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
A rather narrow but dense ribbon of dust was shed by comet Temple-Tuttle when itSo let's go outside about midnight, folx...
passed the Sun in 1932. When the Earth interacted with that dusty trail
back in 1969, it produced a brief bevy of some 200 to 300 meteors in less than
hour. In 2006, Earth will be nearly twice as far away from the comet as opposed
to 1969, but expectations are that as many as 100 to 150 Leonids may streak
across the sky in only an hour’s time as we interact with that decades-old
ribbon of debris again.The expected time of peak activity is 11:45 p.m. EST on
the night of Nov. 18.
A rather narrow but dense ribbon of dust was shed by comet Temple-Tuttle when itSo let's go outside about midnight, folx...
passed the Sun in 1932. When the Earth interacted with that dusty trail
back in 1969, it produced a brief bevy of some 200 to 300 meteors in less than
hour. In 2006, Earth will be nearly twice as far away from the comet as opposed
to 1969, but expectations are that as many as 100 to 150 Leonids may streak
across the sky in only an hour’s time as we interact with that decades-old
ribbon of debris again.The expected time of peak activity is 11:45 p.m. EST on
the night of Nov. 18.
Murtha also complained about people calling the Democratic Party the "cut and run" party. For years now...going back to the 2004 presidential election, Democrat after Democrat has proposed cutting and running. Well ... they
don't exactly call it cutting and running, they've come up with a fancy word
that covers the true meaning. The Defeatocrats call it "redeployment."
First .. Iraq is a mess. No doubt about it. ... Just a question here .. nothing more ... but could it possibly be time to put more effort into protecting our culture and our country from the Islamic fascists, and less effort into trying to democratize Iraq?
we now face what our ancestors faced, at other times of exaggerated crisis and melodramatic fear-mongering:For more of this admittedly one sided view, watch this 8-minute item.
A government more dangerous to our liberty, than is the enemy it claims to protect us from.
I know that some of my readers lean a little further right than I do, but I would be interested to hear your take on this. I mean, I can understand (if disagree with) the idea of a stronger Executive branch, but you guys know that a Democrat has to win that office sometime. Do you want HILLARY to have that kind of power?As I write this, the United States Senate is engaged in a bit of political theater, while they pretend to debate whether or not they will make torture an American value. They are pretending to debate whether or not to give one person -- in this case the president -- the ability remove rights that we've all taken for granted under our Constitution for over two centuries from anyone he (or she, someday) identifies, without any accountability or oversight. They are pretending to debate whether our Democracy even matters, any more.
I've found it a good reminder of exactly what our guys are going through out there. It's non-political, and a great read.The Sandbox, our command-wide milblog, featuring comments, anecdotes, and
observations from service members currently deployed to Iraq and
Afghanistan.
So: Respond away, and then you'll get the MP3 mix of a lifetime! From me! (please specify your preferred percentage of showtunes...) ;-)The first five people to respond to this post will get an MP3 Mix from me. I will make a good-faith effort to customize the mix for you. I will also make a good-faith effort to get them mailed in a timely way. I will promise they'll be out the door by the end of this month.The more guidance you choose to give me in your reply, the more likely that I will be able to surprise you, make you laugh or otherwise send something perfect.
The only catch: as with most memes, if you sign up, you have to put this in your own journal as well. Feel free to customize the offer. Give to receive and all that.
