Learned my lesson (story is mostly safe for work)

Yesterday was my annual physical, which includes everything from blood tests to turn-your-head-and-cough. About halfway through, it was time to change into the hospital gown, with a sheet covering "down there." The nurse-practitioner came in for her portion, listening to my breathing and heartbeat, and checking my circulation. All normal, until she lifted the sheet and said with a smile something that sounded like "Peanuts."

I furiously thought about what the proper reaction from me should be. Miss Manners had not covered this in her introductory etiquette course covering trips to the doctor. What *does* one say to one's nurse practitioner, who has just made some sort of potentially derogatory statement about one's, shall we say, business? "Hey!" came to mind, but I decided against it. I also rejected "What were you expecting to find down there?" Then I remembered.

Next year, I will not wear my Charlie Brown boxers.